Why Couldn't I See Before?

I was having a great time with my children. I was getting to know "me" and that felt so wonderful. Why couldn't I see this before? Why did it take so long for me to finally move out of the one spot that I had been stuck in for such a long time? I honestly can say that I loved him. I wanted so much for things to work. We had a child together and she loved her daddy with everything that she had. She was too young to see what he was doing to hurt me, but I know that she knew that something wasn't right. He wasn't really much into doing family things so when we went and did our 4-H thing, it was perfectly normal. He wasn't interested in her wanting a horse, learning about a horse or anything in between. I wanted to give her something that she could learn, and she excelled in it. I wanted to see her follow a dream that she'd had for a very long time. Making myself separate from the drama of his infidelity was great. It made me feel stronger. The only thing was though, I still loved him and even though he hurt me more than words can say, I knew that one day, I would still have to deal with it.

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