Well, it's been a little while since he's called me, which means that he doesn't need my help for anything, which is good. I would have thought that by now, and his being with the other woman and now living with her once again, that SHE would be the one to take care of his "woes". I hope that one day he will no longer think that I am supposed to keep on doing things for him. The last time I heard from him was because he wants me to take over the house that he fought me for. I have NO plans on bailing him out of the house, because he owes over $3000 to the man he's buying it from and there is no way that I can help him with that. I have my own life going on now, and it's good......maybe not perfect, but it's getting there. Life MUST go on for me and I need to keep him out of my life. I have found out a long time ago that all he does is hurt me and I don't want to be reeled back in. If you would have asked me a year ago if life goes on without him, I would have cried until there were no tears left, but now, I am over him and moving on with life. If you are out there, and you are going through the pain of infidelity, please know that life WILL go on , and it DOES get better. Never give up.
What would a single woman want with a married man? He isn't actually available, unless he's planning on leaving his wife and family. I know that my ex was NOT planning on me finding out about his other woman and did not want to break apart our marriage for her, so what did she want with him anyways? Well, good question and since I am not the other woman, I really don't know what the answer is, but perhaps I can give it a good guess. I know that she DID recieve money from him that helped her out, but that can't be all it was because my ex never made a whole lot of money.....he was really good at hiding it from me though, as I found out. Could it be that she wants him because she doesn't really want to deal with a "full-time" man? I know that when he was with her, it couldn't be for long periods of time. So, what else could she have found appealing in my man? He was a very good looking man, that's for sure but that can't be all there was, so if anybody knows, could you shed some light on it for me? I don't know what she wanted in him, but she has him now, and I am SOOOOOO glad.
Wev'e not been together in a long time.....he is with his other woman, is happy with her, and even though I don't hardly ever talk to him, he still lets me know that he loves me.....what is that all about? If the man loved me so dearly, he shouldn't have been a repeat cheater, crushing my heart to tiny bits over and over again. He no longer wants the house that he fought me tooth and nail for......now he wants ME to take it over until our daughter is old enough to have it, pay all the taxes, pay HIS back owed monthly payments that have amounted to the total of $3000, And to top it all off, to let him keep his old work truck in the back yard so he can get his work tools out every day so he won't have to go back to where he and his other woman live. He wants convenience, wants me to pay and be able to get his hold back over me again. It's NOT going to happen. I am not going to turn back now. Why on earth would I want to pay all of that for him when I gave him the house, all payments up to date, and even took my name off all the paperwork. He wanted that house soooooooo bad. Why can't he give me any peace? We are done and over with, he has even turned his back on our daughter. I don't think I will EVER figure him out.
Well, it's been awhile since I last saw his face. I think that's a good thing but I wonder sometimes how our life would be like today, right now, if we were still together. I feel if we would have still been together, we would have our family together however, it would not be a happy one. I might have gone crazy having to deal with "the other woman", and I am not saying that to be mean but just that I would not have known how to deal with the situation any longer than I did. His other woman was a very brave person indeed and she was already leaving messages for me to hear and having her friends call and ask for him, writing letters that came to our mailbox so it was just a matter of time before she may have even faced me....who knows. I think that I did the right thing by letting him go, letting him be with her. I think that while I am learning how to live a new life without him, I am finding our more about myself and learning how to get along. There really is life on the other side of infidelity.....and for some of you who are putting your marriages back together, I wish you well, because it really is nice having a family together.
Some people say it's true, that once a cheater, always a cheater but I don't know if I believe that entirely. I honestly think that some people are cheaters and that's what they want to do, but I think that there are some people out there who really don't cheat because they want to, but because they made a bad decision and are very remorseful for what they did to their family. I am not sure what the statistics are on that, but I would really like to know. As for my situation, it happened more than once, and with more than one woman, and he was NOT remorseful and didn't want to try and make amends of things. Sad but true. And do you stay with someone who is a repeat cheater? I tried but it didn't work out for me......he was just too into the other woman and it was too much for me to try and change. However, if you are with someone who has only cheated one time and is remorseful and wants to make things work out with your marriage/relationship, there may be hope for you after all. It is honestly hard to get the cheating out of your mind, but you can forgive, it that's what you are willing to do. Getting through infidelity really does take time.....this is just not something that you can work through quickly at all, because if you are willing to work it out, it takes time to get the trust back. Do you believe that saying "once a cheater, always a cheater"?