How long does it take someone to actually move on after the break up of a relationship or marriage due to infidelity? I have seen it in my different timings....in my own, it seemed like it took forever. I just had a very hard time getting myself to open myself up to anyone else. I had to learn to get over my ex, before I could move on. I have also known people who go out with other people JUST to get over the past....not me. For me, it was YEARS. Why did it take so long? Was I thinking at all? Maybe I just wanted to leave an open space of time to be able to ponder on what had happened to me. Actually, I was still wanting answers....you know, the" how come he did this to me?", and the " why did he cheat on me if he says he really loves me?" and the famous.."oh, you just THOUGHT I did something but I didn't"....no, I didn't get any of those answers and to this day, I know I never will. But it did take me a very long time to be able to get him out of my system. After all, he broke apart our family, our home, and my heart. So, if you are going through infidelity with your other half, don't expect to get all the answers you are looking for, and don't keep waiting for the answers. Moving on is something that we all do differently. It takes time...it takes crying, getting mad, and then just finding something better in life. Don't be too hard on yourself. Be patient.
I feel as though my life has come around in a circle. When my ex and I first got together, we were so very happy. I thought that there was no other feeling of joy like it. What went wrong? Why don't marriages now-a-days seem to last? And if they do, what are the secrets to making it last? Looking back on my past with him has led me to believe that for some reason, I learned a whole lot from this experience....and yes, I did have to get my heart stomped on and torn apart to learn. Why is that? Aren't we supposed to find a partner, lover, friend, and be with that one person for the rest of our lives? What is changing that in today's world? I know, so many questions, and not too many answers. Did I have to go through the pain and suffering of my husband's infidelity to find out that sometimes you don't always find the right partner the first time? Who knows, but all I know is that I am happy once again. Life is NOT about someone else making you happy...it's about finding things to make yourself happy in this life. You've only got one life, and you must make the most of it. It's not a good thing if you are unhappy all the time. What makes you happy? For me, just living life to the fullest, seeing my children and grandchildren, having my pets, and finding out that you can't always have what you want, only what you need. Love is grand, and so is life.
After having gone through such heartache from my ex, I think that alot of how you get through it is by how you deal with the hurt from it. Do you dwell upon your partner's infidelity to the point that it drains you? I can honestly say, I did ! I carried such emotional turmoil with me for such a very long time and now, looking back, I wished that I had been able to get through it more quickly than I did. I believe that timetables for what you get through is different for each of us. I think that I stayed in disbelief for a long time that it made my healing time much longer. After all, I never expected this from my ex. I never saw it coming. I was totally invested in that man, and boy! did he let me down! How do you deal with the pain of infidelity? And if you go through it once with your partner, could you go through it again, and again? My heart was so in love, that I didn't want to face the reality of what he had done to "us". I know that it's never easy to stop thinking about it once it's done, but at some point, you learn to put other things in the place of that hurt. Time has done wonders to heal my soul. I think that I cried more than my fair share and it didn't bring him back to me. Once I figured out that there really WAS life on the other side of my heartache, my tears started drying up. I had to learn how to live without him. I had to learn how to do things on my own. It was hard, but I did it, and I thank my family and friends who helped me to cope through it all. My poor mother (may she now rest in peace) was my rock. She always had a listening ear. She talked me through so much pain. Learning how to be strong was NOT easy. I did it, and so can you! Time lessens the pain. I had to cry all those tears, though, to be able to make it through to the next round. Baby steps, one at a time, was my way of walking through the heartache. Learning that I WAS strong enough to do it was hard, but oh so very true! Believing in yourself, I think, is probably the first step. Take each day, one day at a time.