I have been asked if I feel as though emotional cheating is cheating on one's other half.....in my opinion--YES. Not only does it take away what you should be getting from your spouse, but it makes the other person feel the withdrawl...at least most of the time. In my situation, my spouse did not like to talk about things...we just kind of communicated daily without too much of that "bearing our inner soul" all the time, although, we DID discuss things from time to time, we had been together for a long time and at least I thought we knew each other pretty well. I was wrong, because I began needing some of that sharing of souls through words and missed having it very much, but I never ever cheated. I spoke to my women friends to get feedback from things, but never went to other men about things because I didn't want to get caught up in the emotional side of things.I feel as though ONE of his other women was someone who he felt he could communicate with because she spoke his language very well, and understood his customs better than I did. However, the other OTHER WOMAN did not, but she was "needy" so I am wondering if he got his needs met through both of them because I was a pretty darned independent woman...and they were not. I feel that if there is a problem in a marriage/relationship, that the couple should speak to each other about it before discussing it with others....that at least gives the two people involved a chance to try and work things out...unless, of course, it's a marriage counselor or pastor that is able to help sort out things without getting in the middle of things. Emotional cheating can really hurt both people involved, so before looking to another person of the opposite sex for what you need emotionally, try talking with your partner. It might help to save it.
Oh ! the agony of people splitting up, jealousy and rage! Someone close to me, which has to remain nameless, is going through all of this agony. He and his wife were only together for three years. Things were fine, up until the time that she decided to start snooping into his past. Why? Why all of a sudden, does the past make a difference? To me, the past is gone. There was nothing for her to find. He had already told her of his past. She accepted him and married him. So, why did the legal paperwork make a difference? Why would anyone feel the need to snoop just for the sake of snooping? At some point, did she NOT feel secure? As sad as this all is, I happen to know both parties involved very well. He gave her NO reason to snoop. He felt violated, but got past it, until it happened over and over again, and not only that, she started fighting with him over things long gone. They eventually broke up because she was so jealous over his past, that she couldn't stop arguing over things. Why the mistrust? Again, a mystery. They had spent nearly 24/7 together because he worked from home and she didn't work at all...I mean, she didn't even keep her house up. He did it all, supported her and what became of this? Maybe they should have spent more time together before getting married? Who knows, but it seems to be happening all the time these days...you hear it on the radio, you see it reported on the news...people breaking apart. What happened to the good ole days of staying together? All I can say, is thank goodness there were no kids in the marriage.
Long ago are the days that I felt like I had to snoop around in his cell phone....as well as some other things I am not so proud of; such as following him in my car to see if he was really going where he said he was, looking in his work van for any and all hidden money, perfume and things I shouldn't have seen, listening to his saved messages and things of that nature. Should you snoop....or shouldn't you? Huh, a million dollar question. Well, honestly, to be quite frank, there are MANY who say that you should not do this because if you go looking for something, you just might find it, and you will not always like it. In my case, I am glad that I did. I am not proud of it, because he should have had my respect, but on the other hand, his actions were changing, and if I had not of snooped, I might have not found out that he was giving his OW's money...money that was supposed to be ours. I was the one who helped him open his self employed business and I took care of most of the business calls, so the OW's should NOT have been leaving him messages that I could have heard in the first place. Nor should they have been sending love letters to our home when I was the one getting the mail. Those were big signs for me but at that time, I didn't want to SEE them. I didn't want to believe what I was seeing. And so I snooped. Let me tell you though, it was hard....long, time consuming and downright EXHAUSTING. And the closer I got to seeking the truth, the more secretive he became. Did I want to believe he was cheating? Heck no! I almost wanted to actually catch him WITH her before I would have believed it. Maybe that's why I snooped...but most honestly, if you decide to snoop, you might find something out that you don't want to...and that's the truth. Thank goodness those days are over with....so is it really worth snooping?