Through all the days that I went through infidelity of my now-ex husband, I wondered WHY!!!!! It took me forever to get past the questions and not receiving any answers...and well, it's been years and I still never got his answer as to why he put me and our family through this. It won't take away the tears if you find the answer because it hurts just as much as if you don't know, but thinking back, I think that different people have different reasons why they cheat on their mate.
In my situation, I was more than willing to go the distance and did everything in my power to please. I left no stone unturned and when I tried, I tried with everything I had. IT did not work. Honestly, in my situation, I am left to wonder if it was something within himself that he had been searching for that he didn't feel that I addressed. I knew that he had a different upbringing than I and I knew that he and I had a bit of a problem with communication.He was not a communicator. I still felt like those things shouldn't have brought on his infidelities. I look at the past and see that the women that he cheated on me with were NOT prettier than me, didn't offer anything different than I did as far as work and support, they didn't have more money, but they DID have a need. They were needier than I was. They didn't have cars, neither one of them and they NEEDED his help. I was self sufficient, I was the one who did for myself....not that it was wrong, because it's not...but HE must have felt the need to help these women. And most likely, one of the two he was with spoke his language. It was something within himself that wasn't able to work things out with me....it was NOT MY FAULT.....so, with that being said, if you are going through your partner's infidelity, it's most likely going to be something within themselves that's causing them to be cheating. You can do everything right, and if they have something going on within, there's nothing that you can do but try to work things out or walk out. Life is very precious and you never know what's going to happen in your future, but never blame yourself for what has happened because it's something that comes from the other person. Work on yourself, take time to do things for YOU....and always remember that it takes TWO to work things out.
It seems such a long time ago, but yes, it happened.....the cheating, the lying and the heartache of infidelity. People often ask me how I have managed to get past all of it. I am here to tell you that the pain of your partner cheating is like no other pain. It's just a different kind of ache. You get married, or in some cases, just get with someone and expect that you will get the respect back that you have given them. After the dating process ends, and the down to earth living life begins, things change....it's supposed to change for the better.....you know, the being able to settle down a bit, knowing that THAT other person your'e with has your back. I don't really know why some people cheat, but it happens. Why did my ex-husband cheat on me when I gave him everything that I had? Why did he feel that my love wasn't enough? Why did he feel that he could get by with it and not get caught? Had I done something to cause this cheating?......NO ! the answer is that I did NOT do anything to cause his cheating. And to be honest, those questions will never be answered. For a long time I couldn't get past not knowing, but within time, I learned that there were no answers. How does someone get by with no answers? It's not easy, but it is something that I have had to learn to live with. And I mean, it's hard, but it's do-able. I learned how to take one day at a time. I learned how to put myself first. I learned how to start doing things for myself and to stop looking back so much. Within time, things fade. The hurt will always be in the back of my mind, and the back of my heart, but NOW I feel like there have been many other new things taken it's place. I have learned how to live again, and to love once again. Time heals , but don't dwell on the questions of WHY....learn to start doing things for yourself, for your children if you have them, and start walking forward. It CAN be done....I know it, because I am living proof.