Wow...what a shock to my life...he actually came over to the house. This man has never had much time for anybody else except himself and his other woman, but he managed to come over yesterday. He came for a very good reason....to see our daughter. Her 18th birthday passed about 10 days ago and he was finally coming to see her. He was amazed at the beautiful woman that she had become and she was VERY happy to see him. They talked outside and I took a couple of pics for her so she could add to her picture book. He knows that she will be leaving to the Navy in less than a month now and to be honest, although he still has time to come back and see her, he probably won't. He gave her some advice, that I had to translate for her, but it was to" have courage", and to" work really hard at doing her best". I cried when I went in the house because I didn't want him, nor her to see my tears, but reality just blasted me in my face, screaming out how much I wished that he would have worked really hard for our marriage, or at being a better father than he was. All in all, I was happy that he came to visit her...it meant alot to her, and to me. I am also VERY happy that I am NO longer in a relationship with this man.....it gave me an open-eyed view of the woman I am today and how far I have come in this journey.
Our darling daughter became an adult this week...and I am so very proud of her. This young lady has really come along way....from the shy, quiet little girl who loved her daddy so much, to a beautiful young woman who is not only confident and outspoken, but certainly not shy anymore. And yes, she still loves her daddy, but she has had to find out what kind of man he really is, and it was a learning experience that only he could teach her. I have never said a foul word about him, not only because I loved him so much, but because she had to find out who he was for herself. She has come to the conclusion that he is her father, no matter what, but that he just isn't involved in her life like me or the other members of our family are. She is a very mature person and is very balanced. I have talked to her about seeing both sides of a person, men included. She has grown into such a beautiful person, and I am proud. I only wished that he would have wanted to be more involved in her growing up than he did. What happens to some parents when they divorce? Do they not want to be involved in their children? I wonder if he regrets his actions at all. Or ....maybe, he is still so involved with his other woman, that he hasn't thought about it at all.
Can someone who's been in a relationship a long time actually be happy single? Being in a committed relationship, or married gives you a secure feeling that you are not in this world alone. You have someone to talk to at home, someone to share the covers with, dinner partner and and all around companion. It's a good feeling, and for me, it was a GREAT feeling. I grew up watching my parents be together, but my father was always out and about because he was a sports person and spent most of his off-work hours with his buddies playing softball, basketball, or bowling. Mom always seemed to be alone, except for toting us kids around....and they eventually divorced because she felt alone most of the time. But back to the question at hand...and I think that YES ! you can certainly be happy being single. Being single just gives you more power in being able to choose your options. You don't have to share the covers, watch a tv show that you don't like, and you can choose to do whatever you wish, and most of the time, whenever you like too. I have found that while being single, I learned how to better stand on my own two feet about some things in life, made my own decisions and grew up a little more. Being single can also lead you to seek out new friends to go shopping with, movies, and dining out. But for how long does one stay single? That's another question entirely.