My Past With My Ex

I was just a woman, looking for something in life, but wasn't quite ready to remarry. I had children already and never thought ...even for a moment....that I would ever get married again.  One day, I met him. I wasn't taken by him too much and then the second time I saw him, I came up close to his big beautiful brown eyes, the longest eyelashes that I had seen in a guy ever!  He had thick wavy black hair and was hard at work. For some reason, at that moment, I was taken. We dated for quite awhile, then next thing I knew, he moved in and he wanted to get married. We talked about things, about how two committed people should be....we eventually married. We were honestly happy for the first several years....and then things changed for us.  His boss passed away and he was saddened. I was working a full-time job but also had time to take care of the kids and tend to him. He started changing, and I didn't know why. First, it all started with him getting coded-type letters from his mother...and then I started finding out he was hiding secrets....first one was that he actually had 3 children instead of 2 like he told me. Then I found pictures of young kids hidden above the rafters of the garage. There were 2 more kids of his that I never knew about.. Lies were told and I didn't understand. I was starting to feel like I married someone that I didn't even know anymore....but I held on because I loved him. Trust me, when that "gut" feeling kicked in, I should have done something about it, but I didn't. Next thing came to me was that he was hiding large amounts of money in his work van. I didn't know why. On and on it went, not only with lies, but missing chunks of his time, hang ups on his phone, his taking his phone with him, even to the bathroom, his be-littling me in front of my friends, his constant trying to start arguments and fights, and then  one day I happened to drive over to a friend's house that I hadn't seen in awhile..... and there his van was, in the parking lot. After him being there for an hour or so, he came out--with another woman. Hair all out of place, he took her somewhere, and I lost it....right then and there.This was a woman that I knew, but I was afraid to confront them.  I didn't let him see me hiding in my car, but followed him. I even called him and he told me that he was somewhere else. More lies. I left  and I divorced him because I just couldn't stand it. However, after 9-10 months, I went back to him, because he BEGGED me back.  I thought we would start anew, but  I was wrong. Not only did I find tons of messages from the other woman(the same one) but another one as well. The secretive stuff kept on, and I begged and pleaded with him but he was not remorseful. He told me that he not seeing anyone.  He told me to sweep it under the rug, and I even heard him tell his other woman that I didn't want to was pitiful.  When I got the mail from the box, there were love letters to him from the second other messages from the first other woman about how she needed money for bills, and after several more years of trying, all on my part and none on his, I couldn't stand it any longer. I had to move on, and I did.  Now, it's been years and I am happy, but it has honestly been one of the hardest things in life I have had to face. I am marching on, one footstep at a time, and life is now good. Don't ever think that you cannot get through infidelity, because if I can do it, you can too.