Is He Looking Back At His Past?

The child support is late, but it's getting better....he is finally trying to make it up by paying a little extra on this month and the next and I hope that he continues. Our phone conversations are "of no more" these days but I have heard from him twice, to let me know about the extra on the child support.  He always ends his phone calls with an "I love you, doll" but it doesn't mean anything to me anymore. And for me to say that, well, it's a miracle because I NEVER thought I would get over him or get over loving him.....but I have moved on past this and I am doing fine. He called and made plans to come and see his daughter, and as much as she HATED waiting on him for that one long hour, it's only because he has made her wait SOOOO many times being a no-show....but this time, he came. Is is that he is FINALLY starting to see what he messed up? It's been YEARS now and I am wondering if he ever looks back to see what HE could have done to make things better, but then again, maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part. I think he is still the same old man, just maybe wishing that he never got caught  cheating.

Another Holiday Season ......

Here I sit, so close to Christmas, with Thanksgiving already passed,  now feeling  so much stronger. Long gone are the days that I have to worry about Christmas coming and him  only participating  just enough to get by...another reason for my happiness, is that I don't have to wonder how he's going to treat me or my friends for that's over, it's done and I am happy that I am on this side of that horrible journey. Going through infidelity is really one of the hardest things in life.  Now that I am on this side of it, you are probably wondering what I have learned from all of it.....well, I feel that I have learned that I really AM worth being treated good. I deserve MUCH better than what he gave me, and that not all men out there are cheaters.....We all see how our society seems to see marriage as living happily ever after and having that little house and white picket fence. Does it exist? Perhaps for some, it really does.