Looking at yourself

I started looking at what was going on, or what I assumed was happening, and even though I wondered about him and wanted to know why this was going on, I stopped and looked at myself. I wanted to know what I was doing wrong and what I could do to make things right. I began trying to find ways that I could improve. Maybe I could paint my nails up differently, but really that wouldn't work because I couldn't paint my nails because I was working in a job that my nails would not survive painting and beautifying. Well, maybe I could go and buy new clothing. Would that make me look better? I had clothes. I am not a shopper, but I did have some nice things, so the only thing that would do for me would just be to make me feel better. I wanted HIM to make things right. How could I accomplish this? I looked at all the things that I might be able to change to make things better. I was not coming up with any answers.