What Do I Get With My New Found Freedom?

What do I get with my new "found" freedom? Well, first of all, sometimes it's hard to see the good and positive things when you are still looking back at what might have been or what went wrong. I find myself in this position way too many times. I guess it's because I never got the answers that I wanted and I know at this point, I have to accept that I may never get the answers, so I need to be strong about this, and just move my life forward. One positive thing I can now have to talk about is the fact that he is no longer cheating on me. I don't have to worry about checking his cell phone while he is in the shower. I no longer have to run out to his van before he wakes up to see how much money he has hidden in it. I no longer have to worry about hurting inside because he has called me all sorts of names. I don't have to deal with his temper tantrums or his demands for certain types of food. I can now say that I am going to worry about ME and I have finally been able to get some much needed rest. Chasing after someone who is being unfaithful is a full time position and I am finally free. I can go on from here and say that I am no longer under undo stress.

No More Worries?

No more cuddling up beside him, but I guess I haven't done that in a long while anyways. No more having to cook his "special" dinners, no longer having to worry about his clothes being washed and ready to wear the next day. .... Hey !!! That even means that I no longer have to worry about where he is when he hasn't come home on time. I don't have to worry about how many showers he has come home and taken, and I don't have to worry about smelling for perfume on his clothing. I think that I am going to be free.... and I don't know how it's going to feel for me to NOT check his cell phone for all those dreaded calls from "the other woman", or maybe WOMEN! Now that my mind is free, and I am starting all over again, I think that I will finally give my body a rest. I won't have to waste any more time following behind him. What a relief, but at the same time, my mind still thinks about those things.

Giving Myself a Much Needed Break

I think that I have been going around in circles for a very long time now. I question myself about his cheating, but have never found an answer. I don't think I ever will get the answer that I am looking for. How easy is it to move on without those much needed answers? Well, for me, it's been alot of pain and suffering because I go back and forth trying to answer those questions myself. I think that it's time to finally make a step forward. I am going to give it a try. I need to try and focus on myself now and get over the fact that he cheated on me and that it was NOT my fault. I know in my heart, that I did what I was supposed to do and I kept my end of the marriage true, right to the end. The only thing left is a broken marriage to look back on. Let me try and put one step forward and many more to come. I need to give myself a much needed break on the worrying.

Are You Afraid Of Being Alone?

Well, to be quite honest, I was very afraid of being alone. Being on my own sounded so wonderful when I was a teen, but once I got married and left home, I became accustomed to being with someone.....having someone there when I needed them. I really wanted to actually pick up the rug, and sweep all of his cheating underneath it so I wouldn't have to deal with it, however, that did NOT happen. I was afraid of having to sleep alone at night, having to lock the doors alone, eating dinner without him near, and hearing the silence in the night. Yes, I had my children, but I wanted to be with an adult. He was someone that I had become accustomed to being with and it was one of the hardest things I had to deal with, the separation and divorce and being alone, on my own. I had never done that, because I got married very young and had never experienced being an adult on my own. What can you do to overcome the fear of being alone? Perhaps if I had built a wall of my family and good friends around me, I would have felt more secure. I could have even moved in with family to help me through the hard times, but I didn't. What are some things that you can do to help yourself through the fear of being alone again?

Learning How To "Uncouple"

Learning to be alone again can be a real challenge, especially if you have been with your special someone for a very long time. You must now learn the art of sleeping alone in that big old bed, locking up your home at night, securing everything alone. If you have children, this can be of great comfort,because children can really make your life full, however, if you are totally alone, perhaps you should consider getting a pet to give you a little bit of company. This alone time can be a good thing because it can teach you how to become a little more independent. Friends and family can be so important, also in this time of learning how to uncouple yourself. Go out for lunch with a close friend, or for a coffee. Learn to do something new in your life, perhaps taking up a new hobby. Some even take a college class or two, just to take up some of that alone time. Look up some new recipes and learn how to cook for "one" or join a bowling team.