Is It Lust, or Love?

I wonder why he wanted her so much. Did he actually love the other woman? Or could it have been that he lusted after her and felt like he wanted a good chase? This raised a question in my mind as to whether he kept on having the affair for so long. If it was only lust, than wouldn't he have been with her only a couple of times and then been "done" with her? What kept him chasing after her for such a long time? Did he fall in love with her? That answer was never answered for me. He just refused to answer my questions, only telling me that he loved me. I feel like I never got all the answers that I wanted to know answered. He was hushed-mouthed over the whole affair. I believe that being in love with someone is giving that person everything that you are, giving your whole heart and having trust with them. Love is wanting to please your partner and doing what you can to make them happy. Lust is so different. Lust is about going after something that you can only have for a short while. I don't know if it ever turns into love or not. So many questions, and so few answers.

1 comment:

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

I found myself questioning my husband a lot in the wake of his admission that he had been cheating. I read someplace that getting those questions answered can be freeing -- a way of working through post-traumatic stress. But I know other women who regret having knowledge of the details.

In our case, the answer to the general question (love or lust) was someplace else -- it wasn't lust or love but mental illness, compulsive behavior. I suppose it the answer is different for everyone. And the cheater may not be able to answer either -- as there may be self-deception involved. There was with my husband.