Finding "me"

So, the burning question here is "How can a person love you and cheat on you at the same time?" That is the question that probably will never get answered. Or you might here the "I don't know" answer, which doesn't help at all. If I could dig deep enough to hear a productive answer, one that might help me see what was wrong with "US" then I could try and correct whatever it was. All I got was nothing. I was still getting the denial. What a treat, here I was, moved out of our bedroom and he was still denying everything. I used this time to strengthen myself. I needed to feel like a worthwhile person. I needed to feel loved and needed. I spent this time trying to find "me" again. And it was well worth the time, believe me. I got my hair done, started watching what I was eating, taking long bubble baths, and just trying to take care of myself....but it was NOT for him. It was for me. And it was a much needed break for me in all of this.

1 comment:

Martha Graham said...

Hi Debbie,
I like what you were saying about taking care of yourself for yourself, not to change anything about how he felt about you. I found out about my husband and his affair with someone he works with earlier this year in January. My whole life has been turned upside down. Finding out was horrible, but in some ways a relief. Before I knew what was going on I actually started to believe some of the crap he was feeding me about myself. Finding out gave me back a tiny bit of sanity somehow. I started blogging with http://thatwasmyveil.blogspot.com/ , then later began airing all their email conversation on another spot
http://beyondthethunderdumb.blogspot.com/ . It was like I just had to tell someone, air all those dirty little secrets so they weren't just trapped rotting inside me!
Take care,
Martha