Picking Out The Right Mate For Me

Geez, it seems as though I have been through so much that I sometimes feel like I am unable to pick the right mate for myself. My mother always told me as I was growing up that I should pick a man in my own social standing. Well, what in the world did that mean? As I was growing up, it meant nothing. As I sit here today, I can somewhat see what she was talking about as far as picking someone who was compatible with my thoughts, the way I see things in the world and perhaps someone who was at least had some of the same ideas that I did. When I married for the first time, I just wanted out of the house, so I married a man who had very different views from mine. Oh, I was only 17 and didn't even know the meaning of being an adult. I had to grow up very fast because I soon had my first child, had to take care of my husband when he broke both legs and couldn't walk for a year and wasn't able to even go to college. I learned how to cook, clean and be a caretaker. Although that marriage didn't last, I gave it a good try, 13 years of my life. I struggled with his getting a good paying job while I was a stay at home mother, and being very much under his thumb while he worked and rode other women on his motorbike. Heck, I am sitting here thinking that I made a mistake when I married my second hubby, because he was the one I caught cheating on me. Why did I repeat the same mistakes on picking out the right man? Is there a law to finding the right one? Should I be afraid of trying again?

Signs Of Your Partner Losing Interest

Sometimes the signs are there, but you don't always see them. Sure, in long term marriages/partnerships things can become a little hum-drum but how do you know if he/she's really losing interest in the relationship? Here are some signs
1. He/she stops kissing you hello or goodbye when they always used to
2. He/she doesn't want to participate in any family activities like they did in the past.
3. The typical working very late hours and not having enough time to spend with you or family.
4. They would rather be out with their friends more than usual.
5. They quit listening to what you have to say and don't make conversation like usual.
6. Other people become more important to them, more than you or the family.
7. They become more slobbier than usual and dress up only when going out without you.
8. They become more disrespectful.
9. They say things to pick more fights.
10. They start doing more things individually and less of togetherness.

Did He Just Use Me, Or Did He Just Lose Interest?

Did we ever have anything in common at all to begin with? I thought he liked the same foods as I did, but as time went on, it seems that everything about him changed. He no longer liked eating dinner with me. He wanted to have his dinner cooked seperately and made special just to his liking. He seemed to like to go out for a long evening drive, but that suddenly changed as well. He had his own business and he came in and out so much that by the time he finally was in for the night, he didn't want to go anywhere. At first, he was so supportive, helping me with an occasional flat tire, but then he started leaving me stranded on the side of the road to call on someone else's help because he was too busy. Did we ever have anything in common, or was he just acting that way to get me to be with him? It seems like after I fixed his legal papers, he no longer wanted to be the husband that he was supposed to be. Did he use me? Or did he just lose interest when he found another woman?

Did You Want To Get Revenge?

After I found out that my husband was cheating on me, I flew the house so fast it made his head swim. I was hurt beyond belief at what I had seen not wanting to confront the issues with him at that time. After a brief period of nearly a year, we reconciled and I thought that things would be better because he claimed to have learned his lesson after what happened the first time around. Things were only better on the surface. He acted like he was happy to have me back, even treated me like a queen, only to have him do the same thing all over again, only with more than one woman the next time. Day after day went by, and I pondered over how to handle the situation again. How could he have not learned over his past mistakes, that I would leave again? During the times of trial and heartache, I learned how to finally get mad about it. Instead of the crying and wondering why, I became angry at the fact that he would repeat his actions. Did I want to get revenge? No, and I'm really not sure why. Many people I have talked to have told me that they wanted to get revenge back on their spouse, but I just couldn't find it in my heart to do it back to him. How many of you would have gotten that ultimate revenge and why?

Inner Strength

Day by day, I see my inner strength getting stronger, but when will I be over him? How can I get past the infidelity and sorrow that he has caused me? I seem to be fine on a day to day basis, but if I start talking about it, or someone asks me about it, I get all teary-eyed about things and start getting upset. Time has helped but there are times that it feels like this all took place yesterday. When will time heal my wounds for good, and not just on the surface? I was with him for more than 10 years of my life. Was it all a waste of my time? Did I just go through ten whole years of my life with someone who didn't really care about me? I hope not, but there's nothing I can do about it now....those years are long gone, so why aren't the bad memories? How do I make that final peace from within? Will I ever be able to get over the hurt?