Is It Lust, or Love?

I wonder why he wanted her so much. Did he actually love the other woman? Or could it have been that he lusted after her and felt like he wanted a good chase? This raised a question in my mind as to whether he kept on having the affair for so long. If it was only lust, than wouldn't he have been with her only a couple of times and then been "done" with her? What kept him chasing after her for such a long time? Did he fall in love with her? That answer was never answered for me. He just refused to answer my questions, only telling me that he loved me. I feel like I never got all the answers that I wanted to know answered. He was hushed-mouthed over the whole affair. I believe that being in love with someone is giving that person everything that you are, giving your whole heart and having trust with them. Love is wanting to please your partner and doing what you can to make them happy. Lust is so different. Lust is about going after something that you can only have for a short while. I don't know if it ever turns into love or not. So many questions, and so few answers.

Thinking About The "Other Woman"

After all, I am a person too. I hurt so much but I still have to keep on with life. Things seem to be at a stand-still sometimes when you are trying to find out if you are really being cheated on. I went through countless incoming phone calls on his cell. I worried myself over each and every single time that he told me that he was on his way home, but was more than the average time for getting home. I spent way too much time thinking about who it was and why they were better than me. I spent too much grief in my life wondering if she was skinnier than me, had prettier hair or perhaps wore more makeup than me. Why did it matter? To me, it was because he married ME, not her. And I wanted to know what made him want her over me. I felt inferior to her, but I shouldn't have. You see, it's not you !!! It's the one who is cheating that has the problem. It's him/her who doesn't see you the way they should see you anymore. They are the ones with the problem. If you have problems in your marriage or relationship, they are supposed to come to you to try and figure out a solution to what-ever it is bothering them. Together as a couple, working things out between you. Not with an outsider. I had to try my best not to let the "other woman" matter to me. It wasn't me after all.

Feeling a Loss

Losing your partner to infidelity is devistating, to say the least. You often feel like you have been abandoned, and you look for answers to why this awful thing has happened to you. Why did you get married in the first place? Only to get hurt like this? Why get married if you are going to have to go through this kind of pain, and a feeling of loss? We get married to have a partner for life, and to have the dream of a home, and family. Those things are so important in life. I think that some cases of infidelity can be forgiven, but the feeling of loss can stick with you for awhile. I think that time has to heal alot of those feelings.

He Hurt Me So Bad And Doesn't Even Care

He doesn't seem to care that he has hurt my feelings, or broken my trust. He wants to just get on with life again and go back to the way things used to be. Yeah, that's right, he wants to just let me go on cooking him dinner, washing his clothes and virtually being his maid while he goes out with the "other woman". Who does he think he is? And Why is he being so ugly to me about all of this? I am NOT the one who hurt him. I didn't cheat on him, not ever. Why does he feel that he can apologize and then get on with life? Does he not have the brains in his head to think about how much I am hurting? Am I not allowed to feel hurt over his infidelity? I sometimes believe that he thinks that I will just get over it and things will eventually settle down and we will go back to the way things were. Well, it's not going to happen here. I have a right to hurt. I have the right to be with someone who really wants to be with me, and who wants to work things out. How about you?

How Can I Hate Him and Love Him At the Same Time?

Oh those emotions of love and hate ! I loved him so much, so much that I loved him with everything and all I had within me. He cheated on me, treated me like dirt and I learned to hate him and what he had become. Why are all of these mixed emotions flowing within me ? Why can't I just get over what he's done? I believe that when we love someone, we love with our whole heart. We give all we have to them. When we get hurt through infidelity, it leaves us very confused. We want to know why or how they can love us, like they say they do, yet still go behind our backs and be with another person. I have a hard time grasping that one, to be honest. My mother always said that actions speak louder than words. Is it true in the case of adultery? What does this say to me?