Another Holiday Season ......

Here I sit, so close to Christmas, with Thanksgiving already passed,  now feeling  so much stronger. Long gone are the days that I have to worry about Christmas coming and him  only participating  just enough to get by...another reason for my happiness, is that I don't have to wonder how he's going to treat me or my friends for that matter...it's over, it's done and I am happy that I am on this side of that horrible journey. Going through infidelity is really one of the hardest things in life.  Now that I am on this side of it, you are probably wondering what I have learned from all of it.....well, I feel that I have learned that I really AM worth being treated good. I deserve MUCH better than what he gave me, and that not all men out there are cheaters.....We all see how our society seems to see marriage as living happily ever after and having that little house and white picket fence. Does it exist? Perhaps for some, it really does. 

Is There Really Anybody Out There Who Lasts In Marriage Anymore?

Honestly, through the news media, tv and radio, all I hear these days are about couples who just don't make it. And there's sooooooo many of them that end because of infidelity. What's with it these days? What ever happened to marriage that lasts til death do us part? Does it even exist anymore? My parents divorced when I was a young teen....so was I destined to be in a failed marriage? I am wondering because I have been through more than one. Do we learn from our parents? Or is it because of society today being more accepting of failed marriages that just don't work out? Do we often jump into marriage before we are actually ready?  Oh, so many questions with so few answers.

Why Do We Always Remember The Good, And Sometimes Forget The Bad?

I look back at my past relationship and for a long time, I wanted it to work so badly, that there were times that he hurt my feelings terribly, and I would eventually go back with him, forgive him and all of a sudden, I was missing the "good" in us and not focusing so much on the "bad". Why do our minds let go of the bad when they cheat on us? Or perhaps it's not our minds, but our hearts that are taking over. I believe that there are many times when our hearts want one thing, and our minds want something totally different. Love can be so hard sometimes. I am very glad that I was strong enough to walk away, especially after having it happen over and over again....it would have never stopped. He was just way too interested in having more than one woman. I look back now and wonder why I put up with it for such a long time.  I know that it had to have been my heart holding on for so long, because my mind knew better, but the heart won out for it seems like forever. Today I am happy and a much stronger woman. Being in love is wonderful, but when you start getting cheated on, your life just seems to fall apart. Onward and Upward for me.....and have I forgotten the bad that he put me through?  No, but it has faded more back into the memory bank and today I am thankful for having been able to finally move on.

Cheating, Cheating, Cheating.....

What's up with all this stuff in the news and it's always about someone cheating on their spouse or loved one.  Why is that?  What seems to be going on with people who just can't seem to find happiness with their spouse?
 Is there anything that can be done about it? And aren't you tired of hearing about it? As you can see, it's not just us common folks, but celebrities as well....and it doesn't seem to me that beauty plays any part of it.  A famous person can have an adorable looking spouse and will still cheat. That just goes to show you that it's not about pretty or ugly...it's about something that's missing inside of the person that's doing the cheating. To this day, I have really never found out why my ex cheated. His other woman wasn't prettier, skinnier or smarter than me, but he felt that it was something in her that he needed that I couldn't provide, I suppose. To think about it, cheating has been around since way back when.... I guess it will never end. So how do you go about finding someone who WON'T cheat?  Good question, right?

Could I Have Prevented His Cheating?

Sometimes I have to wonder and ask myself, "could I have prevented his cheating?"  and for a long time, I took the blame, worried about how things might have been and beat myself up over this man, that I loved dearly, but felt that he needed to cheat on me. I felt lost without him, and it took me YEARS to actually get over him and what he did to our family and his stepping all over my heart and soul. How can someone really LOVE you and do something to hurt you all at the same time? I have asked myself this over and over through the years....and honestly, that is something that he will never be able to answer me. Bottom line is...is that he thought that he could get by with it without my knowing...hence the saying "what she doesn't know won't hurt her". I honestly don't think that I could have prevented his cheating because I thought that things were good....and on the surface, they were. He had home cooked meals, clean clothes and we were getting along fine as well, but obviously, to him, something was missing or he wouldn't have felt the need to go to HER. Believe me, I bent over backwards to try and fix him, and his cheating ways, and NOTHING helped....so, no, I do not think that I could have prevented his infidelities. Hopefully he's happy now, with HER....I know that I am VERY happy without the worry of wondering any longer.