Sifting Through the Cell Phone Calls

When I finally got tired of trying to find out who the new "other woman" was, I got very bold. I got brave. Boy I tell you, I was darned right mad. She happened to call one day on his cell phone and left him another message. This time she was asking him to stop and pick her up a cheeseburger before he came over. Even though I was getting bold, she was getting bolder. She was finally having the nerve to leave him messages on his cell phone, the same phone he conducted for business. And the funny thing was, I was the one on his answering machine. He wanted it that way. Trying to figure out whose voice was on the machine about drove me crazy. Why did it have to happen? Why does a man, who has everything, want to put his family in jeapady, knowing that I would eventually find out?

Have You Had Enough?

When do you know that you've had enough? That honestly depends on you totally. Some people go on for a very long time, trying to actually find out if their mate was REALLY cheating, like I did. Some cannot take it very long and get out of the relationship quickly, bing-bang-boom !!! So, how do you know when it's time to leave, or try to work things out? The ultimate decision is yours. It also depends upon how your mate is acting. Does he/she want to try to work your marriage out? Are they willing to go to counseling? Are they actually showing a sign of remorse for their actions? If so, sometimes things can be worked out, providing they honestly show that they want to make it work. If they want to just do as my ex-husband did, and throw it over their shoulders and move on because it's over between them and the other woman, then things will be very hard to keep it together. For me, I had had enough of "oh, I am so sorry, it won't happen again" over and over to the point that I couldn't believe him anymore. I can say that I honestly tried. But the decision is yours to make and no one can tell you when it's time to go. sometimes talking to someone can help open your eyes a bit.

How Can I Get This Man to Quit Cheating?

No matter what was going on in our lives while he was cheating, nothing was right. There could be no peace in our house or amongst ourselves period. No matter how much I cried, pleaded or downright begged, he was not going to stop his behavior. What can we do to stop the cheating? To be honest with you, you cannot do anything about it alone. The behavior coming from the cheater can only be corrected by them. They have the WANT to stop cheating. They have to WANT to be with you only. How can we get them to this point? Actually, you cannot make that choice for them. They must want to seek help for themselves. When I actually told him that I was not going to be with him anymore because of his cheating, only then, was he willing to try and work things out. Was he actually willing to go to a marriage counselor, or a minister to talk things out? In my case, he only wanted me to throw it over my shoulder and forget about it. How sad I was to hear this.

Can You Stand On Your Own Two Feet?

I questioned myself over and over wondering if I would be able to stand on my own two feet. It's hard out there in this great big world. Women can make good money but they still don't earn as much as men do. You must also factor in the reality that most women have custody of the children most of the time and child support doesn't cover much. I know for a fact that clothing a teenager these days can be downright tough. How can you make it on your own? Well, it's not simple, but it is possible. Believe me, getting or having a job that's good is very important here. Starting over is hard......but it can be done. Believe in yourself.

Losing a Part of Myself

My oldest son came down to visit me yesterday and we had such a great visit. Everyone who met him commented on how much fun he was. He was so full of jokes, laughter and you could really call him the "life of the party". I saw in him how much he was like me and was proud to let everyone know that he took all his silly and goofiness from me. After he left, life settled back down to the normal and as I went in to work this morning, something happened. I then realized that I was no longer the same person that he knew me to be. It hit me like a ton of bricks as I sat in a moment of silence and thought about it to myself. "What has happened to me?" As the tears rolled down my face, I realized that I was no longer the happy-go-lucky gal that I used to be. "Where did I go?" I felt like all the years of unhappiness had taken away ME !!! I sat there wishing that I could have some of ME back again. I don't have the joy that I once felt in life. Could all of the worrying about his infidelity have taken so much from me? To be honest about it, I know now that it did. I feel sad about it. I let this cheating man, whom I loved dearly, squash all of my happiness in life out of me. I let him take away something I had had all of my life, my joy, and that was a part of my personality. I know that getting older also has it's effects on changes in your life, but I lost something that I didn't even realize that I had lost. I shouldn't have let his cheating rob me of ME....... if you are dealing with infidelity in your life, please take care not to lose a big part of yourself. You need to take care of YOU.