Facing what was happening

Talking to an old friend of my family was so helpful to me. I was so desperate for someone other than my parents to "hear my story". I felt like the world had stopped and nothing else was going on in it. Yes, the daily business of life always takes first place, but I had stopped wanting to go out and enjoy the very things that I loved to do. I didn't attend any more movies, not much shopping and things just felt like they stopped for me. I was wanting to tell my happenings to someone to get their opinion. I wasn't ready for anyone to tell me exactly WHAT to do, but I wanted someone to at least hear me, someone to make me feel like I wasn't alone in this. Believe it or not, I even went on Ivillage and joined the forum there and annonymously talked to the others who were going through this. Oh boy, this made me feel like I had others to back me up in this. I had to soon realize that I was NOT crazy.. there really was someone on the other line of his phone. There really were hang-up calls. I had to face what was right in my face. It hurt so much.

Talking to someone

So what do you do in this type of situation? First of all, when you are going through this, you feel like there's nothing that you can do. For me, it was like going round in circles. I kept seeing what I called was "evidence" but I never actually ever saw him with anybody. I never ever heard him talking to "the other woman". In my mind, I knew he was guilty, but inside of myself I kept thinking that since I didn't actually CATCH him then maybe he really wasn't guilty......yes, I know that sounds silly of me or rather nieve, but I am the kind of person who wants to believe the best in my mate. After all, we had been together for a very long time. Don't you think that after you are with someone for such a long time, that you should know them by then? What about giving him the benefit-of-doubt? Well, that's what I was doing but it just wasn't working for me. Something had to give here, as I was growing tired of all the "antics" he was putting me through. I had to search for answers. I was very lucky that I had my parents, although they lived 1100 miles away, THANK GOD for telephones. Do you have someone who you can trust? Someone that you can talk to? This is one thing that I honestly belive will help.

My man was the snitch

What happened to all the exact hour phone calls? They stopped immediately. Wow, what a relief. But I didn't really get the relief that I wanted. Private calls started in again. And another letter through the mail. Mom was right about one thing.....he MUST have been contributing something toward her or she wouldn't be calling so much. It turned out that HE was my snitch. He was reporting back to her that I was on his back about the calls and THAT'S why she stopped. She must have been afraid that I would call her job. Actually, I did try that but since she worked at a factory, I only got workers and they acted like they didn't know what I was talking about. My own partner was the one who was stopping the calls, but not because he told her to quit, it was because he told her that I was becoming more and more suspicious. What a crock....I felt so angry. He would never ever admit that anything was going on. He still denied phone calls even though they were right there in my face. What's new?

Too many phone calls

Mom was right indeed. When I was growing up, I always found that mom was right most of the time, so why was this time any different? Well, it wasn't different this time. She was right. I would get brave enough to tell him that SOME woman was calling and it was a set pattern to it, and I wanted to know what was going on. I became downright demanding at times because I was so tired of it all. He was still denying it all. I asked him "WHY would she be calling so many times a day, IF he wasn't calling her back?" He tried to make me think that it was all her and she was chasing him. Then one day, the calls just stopped. Wow, that was a miracle. What happened?

My mother was a great advice-giver for me

In answer to my mother's question as to Why was this lady calling HIM so much? Well, I wanted to know. I became downright angry about it. I was mad alright....and I was convincing myself that SHE was the one who was chasing him. She must have been running after him because "he doesn't call anyone" as he said. I wanted to know the answers. I wanted to know why would she keep on calling him IF he was not calling her back.. Was there no way to stop this? Was my mom onto something that I just didn't know about? Mom said that he MUST have been talking to her at least SOME times in order for her to be calling so much. Let's face it, she was calling him every morning before her work started, every break and lunch period and when she got home from work. Why would she do this if he was never talking to her? I just didn't want to think about it, all I wanted to do was to make the calls stop. I just wanted some peace.