Do I Dare Look Back?

Today I went to go through some of my things from my old home, and floods of memories came running through my mind. Wow, I found some things that I thought were already gone forever, just like my marriage to him. Many things were of such that were no good to me anymore so I had alot of things to throw away. Sifting through my past, I held back my desire of wondering "why". This has been one question that I have never gotten an answer to, and I know that I never will. Why this happened to me, "to us", is just something that will never be answered. It puzzles me to no end, but I guess that's just how it's going to be. I do know, however, that he will stay with the other woman now for the rest of his days. This is a man who hates to move, doesn't adapt well to change and is more stubborn than a mule in his beliefs. Will he have the freedom that he had when he was with me? of course not. Then again, it makes me wonder if I had done something different, would I still be in the same place that I am today? Right now, it's just one day at a time and one foot in front of the other....that's how I am going to be from now on.


mr. nichols said...

i am deeply moved by the honesty of the blog. i have only read a few posts so far, but you pour out your emotional truth in a very succinct and stirring way. i look forward to reading more.

Tina T said...

Such an honest look at such a difficult part of your life. You seem to be very well into the acceptance stage. I'm looking forward to following your journey to true healing.