I got up this morning, going through the emails when something caught my attention...an email from a man named Michael who let me know that my blog was included on his list of the top 50 blogs about infidelity....wow! I am amazed at all of the sites he found. . I just want to say "thank you " very much for noticing my blog ! Anyways, without further adieu.....
http://www.mastersinpsychology.net/top-50-blogs-and-resources-for-coping-with-infidelity
Finding The Joy In Life
I look at all the experience I have had in this lifetime and I wonder why I was never able to see what was right in front of me when he was cheating. I mean, I may have seen the signs, but they still hit me like a ton of bricks. Never ever in a million years did I think he would actually cheat on me. I was sooooo in love, and thought that he was too. I think that I have endured so much heartache and pain, along with all the drama that I wonder how did I manage to get through it all....and the wierd thing is..that I made it through. The pain was just so deep, and it took me a very long time to get over it, and over him, but my heart was able to heal. I am at a point in my life that I no longer wish to deal with any drama, unless it's on a tv show or something that cannot touch me. I feel like it took me a very long time to get to this point. Some people just heal differently than others, and I have also found that some people never seem to get past the "getting over it" point. If you are experiencing this, where you just cannot seem to get past it, maybe it's time to "allow" yourself to be done with the hurt and the pain and realize that life is just too short to be unhappy all the time. Give yourself a break from the pain and move on from it, but that's only after you feel like you've grieved long enough. Find yourself once again and try to move on to life's other joys.
Is He Looking Back At His Past?
The child support is late, but it's getting better....he is finally trying to make it up by paying a little extra on this month and the next and I hope that he continues. Our phone conversations are "of no more" these days but I have heard from him twice, to let me know about the extra on the child support. He always ends his phone calls with an "I love you, doll" but it doesn't mean anything to me anymore. And for me to say that, well, it's a miracle because I NEVER thought I would get over him or get over loving him.....but I have moved on past this and I am doing fine. He called and made plans to come and see his daughter, and as much as she HATED waiting on him for that one long hour, it's only because he has made her wait SOOOO many times being a no-show....but this time, he came. Is is that he is FINALLY starting to see what he messed up? It's been YEARS now and I am wondering if he ever looks back to see what HE could have done to make things better, but then again, maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part. I think he is still the same old man, just maybe wishing that he never got caught cheating.
Another Holiday Season ......
Here I sit, so close to Christmas, with Thanksgiving already passed, now feeling so much stronger. Long gone are the days that I have to worry about Christmas coming and him only participating just enough to get by...another reason for my happiness, is that I don't have to wonder how he's going to treat me or my friends for that matter...it's over, it's done and I am happy that I am on this side of that horrible journey. Going through infidelity is really one of the hardest things in life. Now that I am on this side of it, you are probably wondering what I have learned from all of it.....well, I feel that I have learned that I really AM worth being treated good. I deserve MUCH better than what he gave me, and that not all men out there are cheaters.....We all see how our society seems to see marriage as living happily ever after and having that little house and white picket fence. Does it exist? Perhaps for some, it really does.
Is There Really Anybody Out There Who Lasts In Marriage Anymore?
Honestly, through the news media, tv and radio, all I hear these days are about couples who just don't make it. And there's sooooooo many of them that end because of infidelity. What's with it these days? What ever happened to marriage that lasts til death do us part? Does it even exist anymore? My parents divorced when I was a young teen....so was I destined to be in a failed marriage? I am wondering because I have been through more than one. Do we learn from our parents? Or is it because of society today being more accepting of failed marriages that just don't work out? Do we often jump into marriage before we are actually ready? Oh, so many questions with so few answers.
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