Why Does He Have To Be So Helpless?

For many years, I didn't even think about all of the things that I have done for that man, my now ex. Why couldn't he learn how to do things for himself while we were still together? Yes, he was a very hard worker, and along with that, he liked paying his bills on time, keeping himself clean, dressing nicely and eating healthy. He didn't act like he knew how to cook, wash clothing or even write a check, so I did all of those things for him. After we divorced, he got in that kitchen and made his own dinners, kept up with all his dirty clothing and learned how to write checks to pay his bills. He learned how to improve on those things, but he still has not learned how to be a good father. He still remains the same there. He has not learned that by telling the truth it would be easier to deal with problems. He still hasn't learned that by not answering my phone calls that I still know where he lives. Why does he have to be so difficult? Why was he so helpless all those years, not helping me at all ? Maybe an old dog can only learn a few tricks at a time???

Why Does He Always Think About Himself?

Is he just a vain person and I didn't see it? Doesn't he think about anybody else besides himself? I called him today to see if he was going to participate in our daughter's upcoming 15th birthday party and all he could talk about was his problems. He had had an accident a week ago, which I didn't know until today and someone had hit him from behind, leaving him with a rental car until the whole mess is settled. He talked about how he was having to deal with a salesman over another used car because he couldn't get fixed and he was ranting and raving about the insurance company and such. He says he might not come on Saturday because he is not sure he will have a car. I offered him a ride but he didn't want that. He didn't want one of my older children to come get him, and even though he is trying to get a car within the next day or so, he still was ranting on. Our daughter's 15th is very important and throughout the whole past year he knows I have been planning it. He didn't want to help me with it, and he didn't want to contribute anything to it. He said he would come, and now he is backing out. I even had to call him 20 times before he would even answer my calls. I have done everything alone, and he still doesn't want to participate. Why is he so self absorbed? At least he has a rental car. Isn't his child more important?

Keeping The Distance Between Us

As the days go by, time seems to go so slow sometimes, especially when I go through those moments of wondering how he is doing. I have days that fly right past me that I am so busy that I don't even have time to stop and think about him.....but then, there are other days that I pause long enough to wonder what he's doing. I wonder what he's doing there in that big house that was supposed to be mine. I wonder if he's eating well and getting enough rest, but I know that our marriage is gone now and I have to stop caring so much about him. Why did he have to do this to us? Was the other women in his life so important that he had to lose his family over? I am trying to keep distance between us so that I can heal. Healing takes time, and when I am here milling over him, things just seem to stay the same. I have to be stronger. Keeping the distance isn't always easy when you have children together.

Loving A Man With All His Faults.......

When you get married, or couple up with your mate, you learn to accept the flaws along with the good stuff, right? Well, that's how I see it. I learned how to deal with my ex-hubby's childish ways and wanting things done his way, but when we got married, I didn't agree to stay with him throughout his cheating ways. We took a vow and that was to each other, not the other woman, not to add that extra person in our vows, but just to each other. What made him think it was alright to do this to us, and why did he think it was acceptable? When I found out that he was cheating, he acted like it was just nothing, wanting to sweep it under the rug like it never happened and on the road again we would be with our marriage. I did accept all of his faults, but I never agreed to accept his cheating. That was a no-no and a deal breaker for me, but if he would have honestly tried to work things out with me, I would have stayed right there with him, because I know that we all make mistakes, but he didn't want counseling, and he didn't want to admit that he was in the wrong. So who got blamed for HIS cheating? The other woman.

Can A Woman Make It In Today's World Without Her Husband?

I wonder sometimes, how a two-paycheck family can make it in today's world. There are so many things on the rise: gas, food, clothing and education. I guess when we divorce, we are supposed to be able to make the bills and pay for the cost of living on one salary, with added child support, but I am here to tell you, it's hard. ..... but it can be done. Depending on the age of your children, if you don't have to worry about daycare, then that's a good thing...but what if you do? There is assistance out there, for the asking. There is help with food, clothing and other things such as help for electricity bills providing you find the right agency to help. Ask around for help, if you need it. I have even found that the YMCA helps with programs, but you must ask for it, as they don't volunteer that information right out front. There are baseball, football and other sports as well that will help with assistance if your child wants to attend. Yes, a woman can surely make it in today's world, but she must be able to ask for help if needed.