Why Was This All Necessary?

I sit here and wonder WHY was this all necessary? What was the reason that I had to go through all of this heartache and pain ?  Why did I have to suffer from him hurting me so much? ....the name calling, the lies he told and believed for a very long time, the worry of WHERE he was and the final break-up of my marriage and family. It seems that I can look around and see so many couples who make it through, and some that don't, and then there's just me. I wondered for a very long time if I had anything to do with his cheating.....but I know that I didn't.  I was always there for him, and sometimes think that I gave him way too much of myself.  I see him, right now, with his other woman, and he is also cheating on her...go figure.  That man just can't seem to find happiness within himself. Why did he even want to marry me or have a family with me if he wasn't happy?  Did he honestly try to be faithful?  So many questions, and you know what?  none of them will ever be answered, I know that already.....my question is WHY did I have to go through such pain?  Maybe one day I will find the answer.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

My answer is that the truth makes people free. Without knowing the truth you will never be free.
A kiss, flowers and a virtual dinner together with you.

Debbie said...

thank you !

Jan Stevens said...

Although it may seem like you're the only one suffering while everyone else who is going through the same thing is having an easier, painless time dealing with infidelity, then you are wrong. It may seem like the end of the world but it's really not. And all this pain and heartache that you are going through will eventually make you a stronger, wiser and more independent person. You may think that knowing about your partner's infidelity wasn't necessary, but not knowing will only hand even more questions than you already have now. All you can do is get through everyday.

Anonymous said...

I feel you pain and ask some of the same questions. Trying to reconcile is harder, I think. I'm living with a man I couldn't trust, telling lie after lie. He became honest and trustworthy after i yelled divorce. I live in a world of suspicion, fear, anger and pain. I think all of this would disappear if he would get out of my life.

Anonymous said...

I also feel this pain. It is like a death for me. The death of trust and security. My husband had his faults throughout our 16 year marriage but I always was sure that he would never cheat on me. well, never say never. This happened a year ago, and things for me are still reeling. I wonder if I will ever feel right again.

The Other Woman said...

You are not to blame. The "Why's" of times in our lives are not always revealed until later, if at all. I have learned that it's better to be easy on yourself - asking "Why me?" implies you did something wrong and you didn't. Meanwhile, I'm sure you are helping many people through your blog. While I am on the other side in the situation as the other woman and many blame me for his infidelity, I take responsibility for my own actions (and not his). No one can control another person. I also once was married to someone and when that broke up, I thought it was the most awful thing to happen to me. But time does heal. Wishing you peace and strength!