WHY ? And How Does It Happen ?

With time, my past life seems to be fading away and almost as if it never existed, but it DID !  How do so many years of your life of pain just seem to pretend as if it never happened? Of course, there are things that I will never forget, and it still brings tears to my face just thinking about the pain that he put me through. And yet to this day, I never knew why....and that's another thing that I don't think that we ever know after the fact, and that is  the reason  WHY !   I see that it happens in all walks of life, from  the average person  on the street all the way to the people who are supposed STARS in Hollywood....and it's no different.  It doesn't seem to matter if you are rich or poor, famous or not so... Is it because we fall in love with someone and they suddenly fall out of love for us because we've done something that our partner is unhappy with? I  DON'T  really think so, and that's because we MUST be happy within ourselves to be happy. We cannot depend on our partner to make us happy. It all starts within yourself. So, perhaps it's something inside of the person who is cheating, that is trying to make themselves happy by doing what they do....without  thinking about the effect that it can have on their partner or family. Does it take a miracle these days to be with someone that's faithful?


Bubbles said...

I'm one of the betrayed as well. I've heard that betrayal is one of the hardest things to get over. What are your coping mechanisms?

Hurttoo said...
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Anonymous said...

I remeber a movie with Harrison Ford playing as a father and a the fiance of her daughter asking: "hey I admire you, it should be so difficult to be faithful for 30+ years to the same woman", and he reply: "Well it was quite easy: a lot of patience and keeping pants well tight".
I am writing this because I am a man, a father, a husband and often I get the doubt that I am unhappy.
My brain is done this way, no sex for three weeks ? This morning I was making a car accident to see the underpants of a girl on a bike.
Stress in the office ? I have a cute girl around in the office and I imagine myself badly having sex with her.
Some 4 years ago I started flirting with other girls, nothing real, but backward I realized I was unhappy, why ? problems with kids and school, actually some serious, some a bit over underlined, due to some weird combinations.
In total I am getting less attention, is true, but this led me to flirting with an assistant in the hospital a couple of years ago and last year with another colleague at work. Fortunately she moved 1000 km away.
I repeat flirting so in the end nothing happened.
1 year later I saw her fotos on facebook it was quite a shock.
Now I am fighting with my self not to call her back.
Lesson 1: "is always my fault" whether I am a man or woman, whether I am cheating or cheated.
Lesson 2: Whatever traison will lead nowhere, when things will change "as when will you leave your current wife .." things will fall apart. The internet is full of these stories.
Lesson 3: I may have another 13 years of prison, in order to get kids up to 18, then leave my wife, then find another one, but I don't want to involve them in a freaking nightmare.
Lesson 4: My wife once told me "I would feel like a bitch if I go with the neighbour". And I can say I woudn't feel respect for myself If I disappear from home and spend my time with somebody else.
But as soon I say this I think about her face on facebook. Sometime is so fucking hard to say no.

Mike Malone said...

People underestimate the prominence of the internet in people cheating. An absent wander into a chatroom, or onto a forum can result in an emotional affair, that often feels 'safe' and 'fun', where it can easily be rationalized as 'nothing serious', or 'just the internet' until it's too late. Both parties in a relationship need to be on guard, and keep an eye on their partner's internet usage.