Daily Ponderings About The Future

Day after day goes by, my life seems to be doing alright since we split up.....no more worrying about where he's at, because I already know he's with her. It used to bother me so much because I couldn't understand why she was so much better than me, at least in his eyes, but I am no longer worried about them. Why does cheating have to happen in this life? That's an age-old question that I am sure that many of us have asked and have yet to get the answer. Is it our fault that our partner cheated? Heck NO! I am no longer blaming myself for whatever it was that made him cheat on me. I know that I am not perfect, and neither was he, but I didn't send him out the door in HER direction either. I don't know what's to become of my life at this point.... I still have to work in order to pay the bills, there's no more of the two-income thing happening here anymore, and I still have our daughter to help reach adulthood. Am I too old to even think about another man? I am just a wee bit over the age of 50 now so maybe I needn't even think about it. I feel free that I am able to say that we are done, and have been for quite awhile yet I wonder what will come next in my life....guess I will just live it one day at a time.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have spent the last few hours pouring over your old post and finding so much of myself in your story. Thank you for sharing this part of your life it's nice to see someone going through the things I'm going through and handling it all so well.
And 50 is not too old you WILL find someone to love you like you deserve. Just enjoy your life and your freedom for now and not worry about the future.

Anonymous said...

I recently found out through my son that my husband of the last 10 years had an affair 2 years ago. I totally trusted him. My 20 year old son's cell phone broke and he was using one of my husband old cell phones. My son's girl friend thought my son was messing around on her when she found text messages in the deleted file. My son did not tell me for over a month that my husband had two affairs within four months on his cell phone because he did not want to hurt me. I was totally embarrased of what my son and his girlfriend read that my husband said to one of the women who did not know he was married. I totally trusted my husband. He is a fire fighter and does not have another job. While I was at work he was romancing other women. I am also your age. I was totally devistated because I thought I had the best most trust worthy husband.

Anonymous said...

I can exactly fathom d depth of ur sorrow as I hve gone thro it multiple times as my husband is a whoring bastard.Ucan never imagine d sacrifices I ve made for him.While he sat at home without a job and drank everyday,I was out there slogging my backside out.His idle mind eventually became d devil s workshop and he has used my hard earned money to employ escort girls for hisflights of fantasy, as he terms it.After all this, he abuses me and beatsme up mercilessly.Im shocked out of my wits by all this ,but cant leave becoz of my 2 tiny children,pls help...

Debbie said...

dear anonymous, you said that you cannot leave because of your tiny children, but let me ask you this...if you are the one that is supporting everyone, don't you think that it may be possible to support them in a new place, away from the husband? I know how hurt you are and I am so sorry that you are going through this, but please if there is ANY way that you can find a safe place to go with your children, wouldn't you think that it would be best? You should not have to go through this and you have your babies to think about....please try and find a way to get to a safe place, but only when you are ready to do so, and can be assured that you will be safe. I will pray for you that you may find the peace that you need in this life.