Telling The Truth About His Feelings

Did he even care about me at all during our marriage? I am sure that at one point he did, but if he was unhappy, why didn't he tell me about it? Why did he have to sneak behind my back? I wonder now why he just couldn't face me? Well, to be quite honest about this whole mess, I think that he was happy with the most of our marriage and he wanted to be with me while it was convenient for me to wash his clothes, help him pay all the bills and run his errands and his self-employed business for him. He always came home to a clean home, hot food to eat, and never had to write out a check for the bills because I did all that. What man wouldn't be happy about that? No, honestly I think that maybe he started seeing this other woman because she was "needy". She needed someone to help take her places because she didn't have a car. At least the first other woman didn't. The second other woman didn't even know how to drive. They both had that in common. They both constantly needed money and someone to do their "honey do's" so maybe he felt more needed by them. I hate to say it, but even though I needed honey-do stuff done around the house, I pretty much stood up on my own two feet. Maybe he just thought that I would never find out.....but I did. Where was his honesty when we really needed it? I lost so much time hoping he would change, but that never happened.


Anonymous said...

Why do you "hate to say" that you stood on your own two feet? That's nothing to be ashamed of.

Anonymous said...

I, too, was an independent, self-supporting woman who paid bills and child expenses so that my husband only had to pay the mortgage and his personal expenses. He also did all the fixing around the house and all of the building and yard work.

I chauffeured, took care of the kids, did the laundry, shopping, go-fer work, taxes, tutoring; just about everything else as well as held a fulltime job that paid more than he earned in his business. For several years I paid his taxes, too.

He complained that I never helped him with the building, never kept a clean house (I did what I could without a cleaning service), never helped him enough (I was also his business manager and job procurer for the business).

That he left me for a woman who was rich was understandable. There is always someone better than you. When the self-help columnists say it isn't your fault, I believe it. What I can't figure out is how to stop the hurting.