Sex And Life

At what point in our marriage/relationship do we get tired of taking time out for sex? In the beginning, there seems to be so much passion and time put into our loving and then once real life settles in, things begin to change. Working, household chores, paying bills and having children are some of the things that make the change in our love lives. I have to admit, there were times that we went through that I felt that we still took the time to have that passion, but other times, it felt like he was just going through the motions. We were married for a very long time but it seems that even though the sex was there at the end, and quite frequently I might add, that he still found it neccesary to have other women. What happened to that sex that everyone reads about in books, watches in the movies and partially sees on the tv? Is that just something that only newlyweds experience and then gets settled down into something humdrum once real life sets in? Maybe I had just hoped that it was something that was lasting.

He Is On His Own Now, Is He Happy?

I don't know if my ex is happy with life now, and I guess it really doesn't matter because I am no longer a part of his life. He broke us up when he cheated on me and our family the second time around. I have taken up way too long to get over him and now that I am starting to be a stronger woman, I wonder, after all of this, is he happy with his new life? I see that he no longer has someone to take care of all the bookkeeping of his self employed business. I can see that he no longer has anyone to wash all his stinky clothes, or wash the bedsheets. He now has to cook for himself, watch tv alone and is able to come and go as he pleases. This makes me happy now, that he finally got what he wanted in life. He got his peace and quiet. What did I get from all of this? Well, once I finally opened my eyes to all of it, which was just recently, I did get something. I got a life without worry from having a man that might get something to pass onto me. I now have less clothing to wash, less worry about someone else's business and less worry about when he was going to come home, how late and who he was out gallyvanting with. I did get alot, and I am glad that I finally figured it out, I am a winner in all of this, even though I had to go through a very hard time of grieving over him. I hope that he is happy in his new life....this is what he wanted, or so he thought!

Living Alone, Preparing For The Unexpected

Living alone comes easily to some, and oh, so hard for others. I had to learn how to live alone, being the head of household after my divorce. I had to learn how to take care of all the household chores alone. Yes, children are great at helping but what about having to take charge when unexpected things happen, such as losing the electricity? Are you ready for such emergencies? Do you have a flashlight ready on these occasions? Do you have a phone to plug in that doesn't need electric for the moments when you need a phone, or do you have a fully charged up cell phone at all times for those just-in-case moments? Do you have a couple of canned food items for just those times? I never thought two seconds about any of it until one day, my electricity just totally went out due to someone knocking over a pole that the transformer was on. Learning to take care of all those unexpected things that can happen can be easy, once you know what to prepare for. Then again, there are some things we can never prepare for.

Loss, By Death, or Divorce

Sometimes I feel as though I have wasted way too much time reflecting on what happened in my marriage, and other times, I am glad that I took this time to grieve. Now, I just recently lost my mother and I really went through real grieving, unlike I speak about for my ex, but how are the two processes different? Well, they are, but they both hurt so terribly. Losing the loss of my mother was total and utter pain for me because this was the woman who I was born to, the one who raised me and the one who stood by me, thick and then, even when I was wrong. My ex, on the other hand, was my soul mate, or so I thought, didn't stick by me through thick and thin, decided to cheat behind my back and totally destroyed our marriage. Why did I hang on to the pain for so long? Maybe because he was still there. He was still within reach but it was too late. I grieved for the pain of losing him, someone who I could no longer have, someone I could no longer be with. Grief is grief, and pain is there. I just think that with death, you can never get that person back, but divorce, he's gone, but still under your nose, especially if you have children. What is worse?? Losing someone to death or losing them to divorce?

Getting Past Infidelity

I can honestly say that getting past infidelity is one of the hardest things to accomplish in one's life. I think that loving someone so completely and honestly and then having something like this happen is so difficult to move past and I know, because it has taken me a very long time to come to terms with it. In the beginning, I just didn't want to accept it, and I turned a blind eye but I knew. I just didn't WANT to know. Then, I did something about it. I tried so hard to control the issue by silencing his cell phone to her calls, I tried taking away his beeper, I followed him, and yes, I even drove by her house to see if he was there. Nothing worked. I did this for way too long and I did nothing but waste my time, and energy. I had to learn the hard way that he was the only one that could do anything about it, and he chose not to, despite my crying and begging, and wasting even more time. Some want to know and often ask the question of "how long does it take to get over the pain from infidelity?", but I am here to tell you, that it is a different time for each and every one. For me, it took much too long....but I can honestly say, that I am finally getting over that most difficult hump of grieving for him. It took me way too long to do this, but I think that I just wanted to hold on to the memories because I was so in love with him and I didn't know what else to do. I am so very glad that I am on the other side of it now and can finally move on to better things in life. If you are going through infidelity, my heart goes out to you, because it's a horrible thing in life, but please know, that you CAN move on without him/her.