Spending Too Much Time Wondering Why

Seems that tragedy has a way of creeping into our lives without a moment's notice. Dealing with a cheating husband was one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with in my life, walking away and learning to let go is more challenging than I can say. Many weeks of wondering why I ever had to go through such pain, wondering why he cheated but never getting the answers and after awhile, wondering why it took so much of my life away hoping that things would get better. Sometimes I ponder upon the fact that I have just spent way too much of my time just "wondering". I know that with time, your heart and soul heal, but with each person, the timetables are different. We never know how long we are going to be on Earth with our loved ones....time is so precious and so short. I think that I should have spent LESS time worrying and wondering and MORE time doing things for myself. Today I am much better, happier than I have ever been. Tragedies still seems to creep into my life. I just lost my precious little chihuahua and I don't even have a clue as to why. You hear people say that things happen for a reason, but in the case of a lost pet, I see no reason for it. Losing my pet not only brings up everything that I miss about her, but it also reminds me of some of the past things that have happened in my life and I wonder IF I will always have a rocky road ahead of me, or will things slow down and become easy going. I need to look forward and keep on moving on......at least I am not worrying about my ex anymore....

Loss, By Death, or Divorce

Sometimes I feel as though I have wasted way too much time reflecting on what happened in my marriage, and other times, I am glad that I took this time to grieve. Now, I just recently lost my mother and I really went through real grieving, unlike I speak about for my ex, but how are the two processes different? Well, they are, but they both hurt so terribly. Losing the loss of my mother was total and utter pain for me because this was the woman who I was born to, the one who raised me and the one who stood by me, thick and then, even when I was wrong. My ex, on the other hand, was my soul mate, or so I thought, didn't stick by me through thick and thin, decided to cheat behind my back and totally destroyed our marriage. Why did I hang on to the pain for so long? Maybe because he was still there. He was still within reach but it was too late. I grieved for the pain of losing him, someone who I could no longer have, someone I could no longer be with. Grief is grief, and pain is there. I just think that with death, you can never get that person back, but divorce, he's gone, but still under your nose, especially if you have children. What is worse?? Losing someone to death or losing them to divorce?