Looking Back...And They Say Love Is Blind...

Oh, if looking back and being able to see all the things that could have been avoided would have been possible, they say that hind-site is a wonderful thing, but unfortunately, we don't have that. I do think that if I had been able to focus a little more on reading the signs that he was giving me I might have been able to get out of it a little more quickly and not wasted so much of my time. Time is a precious thing and many times, we take that for granted. I did really try to stay married--that's what I wanted most in life because I was so much in love with him. It just wasn't meant to be. He wanted to get married, we did, and then he wanted me to fix his legal papers and I did. He got what he wanted. I was blindsided by the fact that I was so in love. I do believe for a while, he loved me too. But looking back, now I see that I was there for a purpose...his purpose. He wanted someone to help him in his journey, which I did. I helped him to learn English, start his own business, pay bills, write checks and I feel as though I really did alot for him. I did it all because I loved him. I look at things now in a much different manner. I cooked, cleaned and worked myself for him and his needs. I thought I was getting his love back, but all I got in the end was finding him with another woman......of course, this was years after the purpose that I served. I wished I could have seen it back then. They say that love is blind, and I am a believer.

Where Does The Future Take Me Now?

Here I am, still standing...just me and my daughter. We are doing fine. I never thought I would be able to say that a year ago. Why do things happen a certain way in life? I think taking one baby step at a time is what has helped me the most. Well, that, and a few really good friends that didn't care if I cried on their shoulder and people who cared about what I was going through. I certainly never thought that I would get over all the tears and heartache when I first learned of my husband's (now ex) cheating. He made it seem as though his cheating was over, he was caught and we should have swept it under the rug and moved on with our life. It happened HIS way far too many times and I was tired of being the one who was left holding the bag of tears. At what point was I able to finally make that decision? I think it was something inside of me that showed me that I was better than that. I deserved a better life. I was weak, but I got stronger and finally got the strength to move on. Life alone isn't easy, but it's definetly happier now that I don't have to worry about what he's doing. Life really does get better as time goes on...I am proof of that. Where will this life take me now? That is something that I can't predict but I am still taking my life one step at a time and finally enjoying it. My motto? Life is too short to be unhappy all the time.

Letting Go Of The Past

I feel as though I have really walked through a long and hard journey with my ex, and I look back on things and wished that things could have been different. There's nothing wrong with having the house with the white picked fence, a family and harmony in your life. I think that we all strive for that. We look for the good in our spouse, even when they are at their worst. We work towards a goal of "being a family" in these rough and hard economic times. I used to wonder if I would ever be able to get over him, because he meant so much to me, and he was very important in my life. I can now say that yes, there is life on the other side and it's not the end of my world as I once knew it....it's just a new beginning for me.
All the tears are gone now. My heart doesn't ache so bad when I look at him, because I know that it just wasn't meant to be. I guess that I am finally accepting my past is gone. He's just not my future. We only have today and always looking for a brighter tomorrow, you can't change the past because it's done. Do you know when it's time to quit hanging onto something that just isn't going to be? I think once youv'e exhausted all avenues and there isn't anything left, you will know when it's time to let go of the past.

What Is The Next Step In Getting Over Being Cheated On?

Well, if you read my last post, you will see that I listed 2 important steps to help get you started. I think that once you can honestly feel like you can get past the feeling that maybe you did something wrong, and believing you cannot control your partner's actions, the next thing would be to figure out what should happen next. Now, there are many different options here and you need to know that you do NOT have to make a quick decision on anything right now, unless you are put into that situation where you have no choice. Think things through as to what you are going to do about your partner's cheating. Are you going to tell them you know, or are you going to wait until you have more proof? Are you going to demand answers, sweep it under the rug, or what other options you may have. Think it through, please don't jump before you think. I made that mistake the first time around and left him without any explaination....however, I did go back to him, only to find out that I was better off without him because he broke my heart again and again with his cheating. Make a plan for yourself as to what you think might be in your best interest. Ask yourself, can this marriage be saved, or would I be better off divorced? Only you can answer this and this is something that should be thought through carefully, especially if there are children involved.

Achieving Inner Peace Amongst The Storm

Going through marriage problems, finding out that your partner is cheating on you can really put you through the worst time of your life. You feel like you are in a big storm somewhere lost in the middle without any hope. And that feeling can last like forever, it seems.....but it doesn't. When you discover that your are not number 1 on your partner's list anymore, you cry, you get angry and you just want to know "why", but rarely will you get the answer for why it happened. Don't let them tell you that you were the reason, because it's not you, it's something within them. They are the one that made that choice to step out of the marriage, not you. That's one of the first things you must understand about going through infidelity. It's NOT you. How can you achieve peace while worrying, and wondering what's going to happen next? I think that all depends upon you. You have to know that it wasn't your fault, and once you can accept that, get on top of it and claim it, I think that you are on your way of coming to some sort of peace. You must also realize that you cannot control what your partner does. That is another key to getting some peace about all of this.
1. you are not at fault
2. you cannot control what your partner does
If you can try to get to these first two things, I think that you may be well on your way to helping yourself through the mess of infidelity. I know for me, it took forever, and I wished I could have discovered this earlier on.