Is Going Through Infidelity Worth It?

Do you really want to have to live through all this pain? Why do we love someone so hard and deep when we don't always get that back? Are we in such hopes that we will not be able to live without our partner that we just fall back and take whatever they give to us, even if it's just a little crumb? I did. I wanted my marriage to last forever, and I didn't want to give up. I thought that if we couldn't mend out marriage that I would feel like a failure. I certainly didn't want others to look at me and say "gee, that woman can't even keep her man"....but you know what? What others have to say really shouldn't matter. We live in a society that we think that it does, but really, you are the only one who has to put up with it all, they don't. Do we just let things go by the wayside because we are happy in our little comfort zone? I know that nothing that I did helped me to keep him, even turning my head the other way wasn't enough. I guess I just wanted to be happy with him forever. But, you know what? Now that I am on the other side of things, I am so glad to be finally over him and no longer having to deal with all the pain that he caused me daily.

His Attitude Changed When He Started Cheating

What happens to couples when they go through infidelity? First of all, trust, which happens to be one of the most important things in marriage, is broken. When I found out that my husband was not being truthful about where he was going after work or not answering my calls for long periods of time, I began to worry, but at first, it wasn't worry about WHO he was with. At first, I honestly worried about him...wondering if he had a broken down vehicle, or had an accident or something of that sort. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever had thought he was with another woman. When he came home and we would discuss these things, he became enraged. Why? He wasn't enraged about it before, so why all of a sudden did things change? Well, this is what made me start wondering. It was a change in his total being. I started catching him in lies, which was another thing that changed in him. My problem was, that I rationalized my thoughts to make myself believe everything that he told me, even though I did have those deep down gut instinct feelings about the lies and his absence, I let him talk me into believing his lies...I just never wanted to even think he was doing the unthinkable--cheating.

Telling The Truth About His Feelings

Did he even care about me at all during our marriage? I am sure that at one point he did, but if he was unhappy, why didn't he tell me about it? Why did he have to sneak behind my back? I wonder now why he just couldn't face me? Well, to be quite honest about this whole mess, I think that he was happy with the most of our marriage and he wanted to be with me while it was convenient for me to wash his clothes, help him pay all the bills and run his errands and his self-employed business for him. He always came home to a clean home, hot food to eat, and never had to write out a check for the bills because I did all that. What man wouldn't be happy about that? No, honestly I think that maybe he started seeing this other woman because she was "needy". She needed someone to help take her places because she didn't have a car. At least the first other woman didn't. The second other woman didn't even know how to drive. They both had that in common. They both constantly needed money and someone to do their "honey do's" so maybe he felt more needed by them. I hate to say it, but even though I needed honey-do stuff done around the house, I pretty much stood up on my own two feet. Maybe he just thought that I would never find out.....but I did. Where was his honesty when we really needed it? I lost so much time hoping he would change, but that never happened.

Why Do We Wait, Wish and Wonder?

I went through this pain and suffering way too long....and why did I allow myself to be put through it so long? I honestly loved this man, with a love that was so deep, passionate and felt like he was my soulmate and that we would be together forever. Why wouldn't I feel this way? He was a hard working man, kept himself clean, and was very giving...let's not even mention the fact that he was very handsome above all else. We were so much alike in many ways but yet so different. We were drawn to each other and for a long time, it was nice. What happened to this wonderful man that I married? I will never know, and that's because he changed....yes, he changed without me. I feel as though he was wanting me there to live with him as a family with our daughter, paying bills together, but he was also wanting the other woman, someone that he could "help" with her handy man chores, someone that he felt he connected with. He felt as though he could have us both, but it just doesn't work that way. I put my heart on the line for a long time, waiting to see if he was going to give her up like he said. I waited, I wished and I wondered, but it was just a waste of time for me. He did not live up to his end of the bargain and I was not able to take it any longer. Am I glad that I tried? Yes, but I feel as though I lost alot of life, precious life. Now I can honestly say that I tried and that's why I had to give it up and be done. I am so glad that I did. How about you? Are you in an endless situation, waiting for something good to happen?

How Much Can You Afford To Give Up?

How much of yourself do you honestly give up to your significant other? When you get with someone that you truly love and care about, you give them your all. We totally surrender our hearts to them, hoping that we get the same back from them, and most the time, we do. I know that when I married my now ex, I was very happy. Things were wonderful for awhile. Yes, real life does eventually kick in and sometimes things get old. After years of being married to that one person, habits come out that you might have not known about, paying bills, daily living and both working to make ends meet happens. Children come and after awhile, marriage can get old hat. But it's what we want, right? I wanted to be married, settled and just totally comfortable in life...and I was for awhile. I was in a comfort zone, actually. But when things started getting bad, I hung in there. I kept telling myself that things would get better, that all couples go through good and bad times. Most of the time, we manage to pull ourselves back into the good, and life goes on. But what about when it gets REALLY bad? How much of yourself can you afford to give up? There are some of life's circumstances that we CAN get through, but other things we cannot afford to go along for the ride. Is going through infidelity one of those things? Can we get through our spouse's cheating? Some would say yes, and others just struggle with the answer, like I did.