Time To Heal

I wanted to be with him, but honestly, I couldn't make him love me. He told me that he did, but he wasn't showing it. Although he was mad at "the other woman" and wasn't answering her calls, that really didn't mean that he loved me again, at least like he should have. They say that time heals wounds, but I felt like time wasn't healing mine. Maybe it's because once I tried healing, he cheated again so quickly that I didn't have any time to heal. How can you heal when it happens over again? I felt like he was wanting to move on, but he wasn't understanding the concept of me needing time to heal.

Why Did I Think I Needed Him?

Oh, the thought of just having a chance to put "us" back together was something that I wanted. I lived through good times and bad times with this man. What was so appealing about him? Why did I think that I needed to be with him? Well, let me see here, first of all, we had love, or maybe it was just me. Secondly, we had a daughter together. Maybe I was glued, attached or cemented to him. I really don't know what the appeal was all about. He was a very nice looking man, and he took care of himself. He was a hard working man. But when I looked at the flip side of the coin, he was sneaky, a liar, definetly not much of a family man, and most of all, he was a cheat. Boy, I sound harsh here, don't I ? Was this a man that I was going to stay with? Even though he was mad at "the other woman" for messing up his credit, that didn't mean that he really wanted to be with me.

He Turned to Me.....Finally

Time moved on for us, and we seemed to be trying to get things back into order. He didn't want to admit that this other woman had anything to do with messing up his credit, but once the paperwork came in with proof, he was upset and angry, of course. He turned to me more at this time, as much as I wanted him to, but it was not for the right reasons. This man wanted his credit fixed and I knew how to get it done. I wanted so much for him to want me because HE wanted ME, not because he wanted me to do something for him. But in all honesty, it felt good to be needed and wanted again. I was surely grasping for straws here. Was there a glimmer of hope in my future?

Can You Really Teach An "Old Dog" New Tricks?

Can you really teach an old dog something new? I was sure hoping so. Not to call him an "old dog" but I am only implying that he was my partner, my spouse, my other half and we had been together for quite a long time. He and I knew each other so well, or so I thought. He was not a young man, actually he was 40 plus. He was no baby by any means. He should have already gotten his running around over and done with. Now, the other woman was calling him like crazy. He was not answering any of her calls, at least when I checked his phone, they were unanswered. I was hoping for a blessing. Who was I , to think that I could teach him to want to be with only me? I wanted him to learn how to be happy with me, just me and our family, and not turn to anyone else. Was I asking for a miracle here? Yes, to be honest with you, maybe I was reaching a bit too far. I wanted him to learn how to be happy without having someone extra in his life.

The Other Woman Made a Big Boo-Boo?

As the days passed, he grew tired and weary... him? what about me? I was tired of this whole situation. After the fraud department sent us living proof that she was the one who signed his name for a credit card and used HIS social security, he had proof pudding right there in his hands. He was upset with her and from what I understood, vowed not to speak to her again, after all, SHE did mess up his credit. I had to go behind the whole mess and "fix" everything. I had to set up fraud protection and get it taken off his credit report. You probably wonder why I just didn't let him suffer with the consequences. Well, the answer was simple. As much as I wanted to get back at him, I knew that some of my credit and his was mixed and I didn't want the bad stuff touching MY good credit so I had to do what I could to get the mess cleaned up. Yes, the private calls were rolling in and he was ignoring them. Wow, was this a blessing in disguise?