Time Lessens The Pain

It has been a little while since I wrote in my blog, not because I haven't wanted to, but it seems that life just finds so much for me to do these days. I am not abandoning my blog, but trying to rebuild my life, and all is well. I never ever would have thought that while going through the pain of infidelity, that one day I would feel less pain than I did during those horrible years in my life, but honestly, time really does lessen the pain.  I haven't forgotten about what he put me through, nor do I ever think I will forget about it, but during the time you are experiencing the hurt inside your very heart and soul, you cry and wonder "why"  and you have that nagging question of why did it have to happen to you...why didn't he/she love you enough to stay true to you.  I have never found the answer to that question.  Maybe some people truly do find the answers, but I never did. However, after all the time of crying, questions and wondering if I will ever get over it, I finally started by putting one foot in front of the other....and that takes time. It takes willpower too. It took me so much time that I began each day with something new. Making a new day for me...a new week, a new month and a new year.  With each little step I took, I found myself replacing new habits and likes for old habits and such. I replaced some of those bad days with new memories, new thoughts and new surroundings. Time has not healed my memories, but time has rebuilt my thoughts and dreams....Life really does and CAN get better, one day at a time. Slowly but surely.

2 comments:

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Anonymous said...

I stumbled onto your blog today and must say that you have inspired me to find my happiness. I have been dealing with my partners infidelities for about 6 years now (we have been together for 11 years). I am inspired by your strength and determination to be true to yourself. I can see so much of myself in your posts. I can see my thoughts, fears, pains and concerns. More importantly, I know that I have strength and determination like you. It may seem odd, but the one post that made me feel the need to write this was your post "what if she had something icky". I am thinking its because of my most recent discovery. My partner travels for work which is usually in Asia, and usually in the resort areas. I recently found out about his last conquest in the Philippines. I actually had the opportunity to speak to this woman, and she confirmed that he does not use protection. He also admitted to this, along with details of leaving money for her every morning (payment for her company). Yes, I have been checked out and yes, everything is in good order. After learning about all this I came to the realization that I am no longer willing to put my life in this mans hands. I will not risk my health physically, mentally or emotionally to him or anyone. I have allowed him to make me doubt my own self worth and compromise my self respect and morals. Not anymore! I have stayed because I feel I am financially bound, but how can anything cost more than staying. I am strong! I am valuable! I am worthy! I know it's not going to be an easy road, but I know it's going to be so worth it!
Thanks so much for sharing.
(wish)