Why Did I Snoop Into His Personal Things?

Long ago are the days that I felt like I had to snoop around in his cell phone....as well as some other things I am not so proud of; such as following him in my car to see if he was really going where he said he was, looking in his work van for any and all hidden money, perfume and things I shouldn't have seen, listening to his saved messages and things of that nature.  Should you snoop....or shouldn't you? Huh, a million dollar question.  Well, honestly, to be quite frank, there are MANY who say that you should not do this because if you go looking for something, you just might find it, and you will not always like it.  In my case, I am glad that I did. I am not proud of it, because he should have had my respect, but on the other hand, his actions were changing, and if I had not of snooped, I might have not found out that he was giving his OW's money...money that was supposed to be ours. I was the one who helped him open his self employed business and I took care of most of the business calls, so the OW's should NOT have been leaving him messages that I could have heard  in the first place. Nor should they have been sending love letters to our home when I was the one getting the mail. Those were big signs for me but at that time, I didn't want to SEE them. I didn't want to believe what I was seeing.  And so I snooped.  Let me tell you though, it was hard....long, time consuming and downright EXHAUSTING.  And the closer I got to seeking the truth, the more secretive he became. Did I want to believe he was cheating? Heck no!  I almost wanted to actually catch him WITH her before I would have believed it. Maybe that's why I snooped...but most honestly, if you decide to snoop, you might find something out that you don't want to...and that's the truth. Thank goodness those days are over with....so is it really worth snooping?


BenSmarty said...

I've always thought that snooping was your inner self trying to answer a question. Eventually you may have found out about the cheating in a more outward way or maybe he would have told you. But you suspected there was something wrong and you needed answers.

I know that if my husband had never left his email open on one of the computers I was using, I would have never guessed that he was unfaithful. Do I regret snooping through his email? Perhaps. I wish he just would have told me he was so unhappy.

Surviving Infidelity said...

Yes, if you have a feeling that your spouse is cheating then YES snoop and find out. Your gut is almost always right and if you come out and ask your spouse will realize that you are onto them and get rid of any evidence and become even harder to catch. You need to snoop and gather ALL the evidence you can so that when you have enough you can confront your spouse and as they lie and tell you nothing is going on you can show your evidence for everything you are accusing them of.

I didn't snoop before I found out, people were telling me so I asked him and he came clean. BUT, I snooped for a good year afterward to be sure that he really was in complete no contact with the other woman. But, after a while you have to stop policing your spouse and got with your gut and if you feel anything is off, find out why.

Annie said...

I don't like to call is snooping. to me that is what a 12 yr old does to his older sister. If I had not "investigated" further, i would have never known that my husband had 4 affairs. I have to admit it did feel wrong but it also felt wrong when I had to sign the divorce decree. I had to do things based on facts not feelings.