Self Esteem and Going Through Infidelity

Today I want to talk about self-esteem. How is your self-esteem and how do you feel about yourself? During my many years of being married to my ex, he continually chipped at my self esteem. Some days he wasn't so bad, but there were other days that he always had something to say about me that wasn't very nice. I went through periods of time thinking that I didn't make him happy because it was something that I should have done or could have changed about what I did. At the beginning of our marriage, if he hurt my feelings he would apologize and try to make things better, but as time went on, and he started with his cheating on me with other women, he would say things to hurt me, but then would not care about what I felt. I was left to deal with his hurt all alone and I would look back at myself and think about what I could do to make our marriage better. I wanted him to love me, and I didn't know how to make the hurt go away. With time many couples let themselves go to some degree and I thought that with my having our daughter and then trying to take care of our household, the taxes, his business and my working that it may have caused him to see me in a different way, however, to be at all fair about this, I have to say that LIFE must go on....the bills getting paid, taking care of children, working and such is something that I HAD to do...regardless of how he felt. What I didn't know at that time, was he was actually seeing someone else and was just picking on me so that he could get an easy way out of the house to go and see her without my wondering why he left. Self esteem is something that you need to keep hold on tight of because without feeling good about yourself, you start having the feeling of not caring about things and feeling as though you are not worth it....but honestly, YOU ARE VALUABLE AND YOU MEAN SOMETHING..... please take care of yourself if you are experiencing going through these feelings. Find someone to talk to that can show you that you don't have to feel bad about yourself. It's not always something that YOU do, because marriage is made up of 2 people, not 3. ...... and if both of you want to work out a marriage you will do it TOGETHER!

1 comment:

Jan said...

Reading all the things that you wrote in your blog brought me back on time, the most painful time in my life from which I am still recovering. Is there a real chance to move on with a spouse that have cheated on you?. I am still trying to work things out with my husband and find it very difficult to trust him again. I don't know if that will ever happen in my life time. I am glad to see that your time to move on with your life has come. I wish you all the best and I am sure that after all the pain you have endured you are now a stronger person and you will succed to make a better life for you and your daughter. Congratulations.