I Just Wished It Would Have Worked Out

As I look back on my life, I see alot of things that I should-o, could-o, would-0, but those days are gone and past. Did I miss something in my marriage to him? Did I take the time to find out why he was cheating? Did I try to make ammends? Honestly, I think that I must have missed doing something, because somewhere along the line, it messed up and we just couldn't make it. Do I blame myself? Sometimes. But I know that as hard as I tried to control the other woman's phone calls coming in to him, it just didn't work. It was bigger than me. Their affair was bigger than "us" and for that reason, I have to say, it was not all my fault. It was his choice. He made that choice to sneak behind my back and see her, to pay her bills, and to give her things that he wasn't giving to me. As far as trying to find out why, yes, I tried so hard but never got any answers. I know now, that I will never hear that answer from him, because to this day, he still refuses to admit it. He says it was her fault. Did I try to make ammends with him? Yes, I did, and I just felt so tired of trying by myself. Marriage is a union of two, and I was the only one trying, so we failed. I just wished that we could have made it, and I look back and feel sorry that it just didn't.

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