Too Much To Ask For....

Little ole me? Asking him to give her up? Sure, it was a stretch, but why would he? Maybe he thought that he could have us both? I think not !!! It was a horrible thing to think....but yet, I didn't seem to have any control over it....or did I ? I didn't think so, but to be quite honest, I could have controlled MY side of things. I could have walked out of the situation.....but just couldn't pick up my things and run AGAIN. I had already done that once and I didn't want to do it again. Why did he make things so hard for "us"? Was there an "us" anymore? I pondered in my head what my next move would be and just found myself so upset that I couldn't do anything....anything but cry, of course. He was my love. He was my daughter's daddy. I was so upset and confused over all of this mess that I was trying to find myself. I guess it was too much to ask for, him giving up the other woman.

The Other Woman Still Had a Hold On HIM

Why did the other woman have to have such hatred that she would go out and mess up his credit? She probably thought that this would make him go over there and see her more to try and find out WHY she did this. Guess what? There were many more phone calls. So much so, that one day, he stayed on the phone with her for a very long time. He came home angry, upset and didn't want to talk about it. He only wanted my help in fixing it. Would this finally make her go away? Oh how I wished so.

The OTher Woman's Scorn

Maybe it was just me. I didn't want to believe that this was happening again. And you know what? It was with the SAME woman. One day we went to check his credit and there was something on there that he didn't put there. We found out it was her that did it. She was mad about the fact that he was still back with me and she wanted to punish him. She took out a credit card in his name, using his social as well. She let a yearly fee be charged and then didn't pay it. She let it go so far that it went to collections. I was the one who had to "fix" it. At first, he didn't want to believe it was her. I called the necessary channels, and we got evidence in the mail that it was her that signed. He became VERY angry over what she did. Would the phone calls then stop? Unfortunately not.

The Evidence of Private Phone Calls Right In My Face

Why do I have to suffer so much anguish with this man? Private calls were coming in again on his cellular. I got so used to checking his cell phone when he would go and shower. That wasn't a good feeling at all. I hated having to sneak around looking at the calls. It drove me nuts. Why couldn't I have just been able to push it aside in my head and act like things were alright? I wished that I could have turned what they call "a blind eye" to what was going on, but I just couldn't. This wasn't right. And he might have thought that "what I didn't know won't hurt me" but this didn't apply either. How could he think that I wouldn't pick up on these "private calls"? Or when the phone rings and rings 5 or 6 6times in a row, hanging up after so many rings ? Isn't this a warning signal that something is not right? What about the letters? If this wasn't evidence, then what was it?

Questioning our relationship

My real true love was slipping through my fingers. How could this have happened to me? I wanted "us". Why was this intruder known as "the other woman" coming into our lives? More importantly, why couldn't he have expressed what was wrong and come to me, instead of someone else? I would have at least known what was going on in his mind. I would have known what was wrong and tried to fix it, but I didn't even have a clue. This man was such a good man at heart. He helped others, he was courteous and kind, but he often became angry with me. Although he never raised his voice, he soon began saying "ugly" and "horrible" things. Why couldn't he have trusted enough in me, or in our relationship to turn to me and help ME? No, instead, he was "helping" the "other woman" because , well, I just really don't know, but perhaps he felt sorry for her. He should have felt sorry for me, for what he put me through. I so wished that things would have been different, and as hard as I tried, I just couldn't change anything. Don't you sometimes wonder why things happened the way they did?