How I Got Over The Agony Of Infidelity.....part 5

Things in my life were crummy, and I didn't feel good most of the time, but I felt like I had to do something to change things..and he wasn't helping any. He would go through periods of time where he would be gone alot, to staying at home. I think he was trying to work against my mind, curious as to what I was going to do about the whole thing, and I just kept on doing what I had to do to get through the entire mess. As I found a support, I began to feel stronger. I felt more in control of my situation. And at some point after trying to make things right, i finally figured out that his games were never going to end. And by the way, this was our second round of infidelity. I was tired of trying. I had to find a way to live my life without all his drama. I never thought that I would of walked out, but after much consideration, and knowing at that point, that things were not ever going to be back the way they should have been, I moved out. At that time, I had 2 children, a self-employed business, and it was hard....very hard. I got to learn how to do things alone. I learned how to survive. Believe me when I say that it's not easy. But at the same time, I felt peace. My inner being was finally at rest. I missed him but I had to go on with life. Nothing in life is easy...but going through infidelity with someone who doesn't want to change is even harder. This process took me YEARS, not months, so if your'e ever wondering if you will ever get through it, the answer is YES.  You can do this. Some of us decide to work through infidelity with our partners....and it's a good thing if both parties are willing to do the work.  However, if you are the only one interested in making things work, most likely they won't. Think about what your future holds for you. Think about what you want in this life, because life is too short to be unhappy all the time. Be true to yourself and what you believe in. All things are possible but take the time to think things through, because you never know what tomorrow will bring. I wish everyone the best and I hope and pray that you don't suffer through YEARS of this like I did.

How I Got Over The Agony Of Infideltity.........part 4

I had to accept the truth....and that was, that my husband was a cheater. No longer was he considered "mine". Terribly hard to accept, but I had to find a way to get through his infidelity. I started talking to a long time family friend of my parents, who just so happened to be a pastor in a small church. He listened to what I had to say. He asked me a question...." Is this what you want in your life?" and so I began to think about it. Maybe I was feeling so down on myself that I was willing to accept what my husband was doing and I knew it was wrong and I knew that I no longer wanted to deal with what he was putting me through. The question of what did I want in my future came up as well. Did I deserve to be treated this way?  I didn't think so, but what was I going to do about it? I got online, found some resources from others who had been going through infidelity. I saw that I wasn't the only one going through this horrible mess. I no longer felt alone. Friends and family are good to talk to...they can only ease your burden by listening but you are the one who has to make that final decision. My husband was NOT willing to make things right. His words were there, but the actions were not. The pain I was going through was still very strong, but I decided that it was time that I stood up and did something about it. No longer did I wish to be walked upon. I started finding ways to make ME feel better. I started losing weight, I put more attention to my work, my home and family. I gave him less attention until I could figure out what I was going to do next.......................to be continued.

How I Got Over The Agony Of Infidelity......Part 3

I bet you are wondering WHY I had a blind eye, when it came to infidelity....well, sometimes its feels better to try and believe the best in your spouse...after all, isn't that what we are supposed to do when we love someone? My husband (now ex) was charming, and he knew all the right things to say. But once I started asking questions, his demeanor totally changed. He starting being ugly to me, treating me badly, starting fights and did everything that he could to make me think that all of this was my fault. Totally wanting to keep my marriage and family together, I settled down and tried to "sweep things under the rug" as they say. Who wants to leave their comfort zone? I certainly didn't. As time went on, things became worse. I started discovering love letters, personal messages to him from her.....NEVER anything from HIM to her. So, he used that to his advantage and made me think that it was HER who wouldn't leave him alone.....which only made things worse for me. It's undeniable when you find things that aren't right. He had an excuse for EVERYTHING I questioned him about. I grew tired. VERY TIRED of fighting with him over it. I was asking questions that never got answered. I felt like I had to do something. Begging didn't help. Finding her phone numbers and blocking her didn't help. Keeping him busy at home certainly didn't help either. Something had to be done and I was running out of options, so I took a stance. I had to accept the truth...................to be continued.

How I Got Over The Agony Of Infidelity.....Part 2

How did I manage to get myself through all the pain of infidelity? Well, first of all, you have to be able to get past the part of the initial shock that your spouse would ever even think of cheating on you. That initial shock might take a long time, and maybe longer than you want, but honestly, some people can get through it faster than others. For me, it seemed like it took forever. I was very much in love with my husband and I didn't ever think that we had any really big or deep problems. We, in fact, used to get along extremely well, but little did I know, at some point in our marriage, he must have decided that "we" weren't as happy as I thought. I wanted to make his cheating stop. I checked his cell phone, and not only because I was suspicious, but because I ran his self-employed business and did all the paperwork, and answered most the calls. I wasn't expecting to hear his "other woman" being as intimate as she was. Actually, his infidelity hit me like a ton of bricks....only when I confronted him, his denial was very strong. I wanted to believe him, and so I did.....but I shouldn't have. They say a woman's intuition is right  most of the time.  And I should have believed in myself, but I let him tear my doubts down.....BIG mistake on my part.  ...................to be continued.

How I Got Over The Agony Of Infidelity? Part 1......to be continued

Going through infidelity is one of the hardest things to have to go through in life.  Sometimes I wonder how I ever made it through. My heart was soooooo torn into pieces and I was so out of sync because I wanted to stop all the crazyness and just stop my husband's infidelity. No matter what I did, nothing stopped it. I learned the hard way---that it MUST come from the one who's cheating....THEY have to be the one who stops it and does it because they want to. I cried all the crocodile tears that I had, begged, pleaded, and still, nothing stopped. The only thing I received for all of my heartache was him getting angry, calling me names and treating me worse than he already had. There were times that he told me that nothing was going on, and he played it cool for a little bit to make me think things were alright with us again, but it was all a game that he was playing. I wanted to believe him and I walked around with rose-colored glasses for a time, only because I wanted to pretend he was all mine again. But you know what?  After a long bit of time, I started to think about what I could do about it.  I wanted to become a stronger person. I had cried all the tears that I was going to cry, or so I thought, but I wanted to make things better.....so how did I do this?