Different Behavior

Besides being so obvious, he really was acting strange. Yes, it's nice to shower when dirty, but 3 times a day? It was getting past the stage of ridiculous. He was pouring on the cologne each time and I started wondering why this was all necessary. He was a proud man. He was such a hard working man, and most of the time, he preferred working than relaxing. He would come in, and not let me know he was home, unless I just so happened to look out the window and see his van at home and he would stay in the garage, working. It was almost like he was trying to avoid me. But why? He was the one who kept begging me to forgive him. So, why was he acting like he was avoiding me? This was certainly strange behavior on his part for sure.

Living With An Adulterer

This lasted for a couple of months, at least everything was quiet. I was relieved that finally there was peace. I was able to go to work and not have to be crying at the drop of a hat. I was able to go to the grocery store in peace, however, I felt like HE was more demanding of me. He wanted me to buy special foods "just for him" that the rest of our family didn't eat. He wanted to come home and stay out in the garage until it was bedtime. He got to where he was coming and going in the house several times a day. He was also showering SEVERAL times a day....saying that he was sweaty from the job he just completed. He worked for himself, and I am the one who got his business started up for him and I knew that he had alot of customers, but this coming in and out and showering so much was starting to peak my curiosity. Why was he doing this?

Putting a Relationship back together

So, being a very forgiving soul, I tried to put things back together again. Yes, things were going alright for awhile. I was still so leary, waiting for the other shoe to drop. But to my suprize, things did get better. Work went on as normal, and our daily routine seemed to go alright. All the while, I still worried and wondered about what happened in our past. I wanted to know details, but didn't want them that much. I wanted to feel wanted again. I wanted to be loved and not have to compete with anyone else. How long would this last?

Forgiving

He was begging and pleading with me to as he said "it's over with, why can't you just forget about it?" oh, such classic words. It made me so mad when he said that. There wasn't any way that I COULD just forget about it. How are you supposed to do that? That was something simple for him to say. And he was serious about it. I tried very hard to be forgiving, but forget? Ha, that was another story. I felt stronger and finally decided to "forgive" him once again, after all, I had not actually seen them together but yes, I had more than enough evidence.

Another Try?

Time went by, but it felt like it had gone on forever. Things were starting to improve, or so I thought. I was carrying on with real life and he was trying to make things go back the way they were. I wanted to be a family again, but I was scared. Well, I just didn't want to break up AGAIN, because we had already done that. I still had a teen at home and we also had our daughter with us and we were just living together. Sure, he had been my husband for many years and we were divorced, but we were back together again. Why couldn't this work? I wanted it so desperately. So, one day, I thought that maybe since things had calmed down, we could try it again. I was very unsure about all of this because of the infidelity but I figured that since I had been through councelling, I would be a stronger person. I was stronger, but I was also weary of all that we had been through.