Divorce Law

Sometimes we hang on, and in my case, I hung on way too long. Sometimes things are able to be worked out, and that's great as well. I know what it feels like to keep trying, and trying, but am the only one to be working on my marriage, and it really hurts when your other half just doesn't seem to care. One thing that I don't like, but something that we have to face, is if it doesn't work out. In that case, you must start thinking about divorce law. Not just for a divorce, but there's also times when we must think just about the legalities in separation. There are things like house, property and even the children to worry about.  There's nothing pretty about it.
When finding a lawyer, you must actually find someone who is willing to work for you. Someone sympathetic to your needs and someone who will get the job done, no matter if it's a divorce, separation, or even some other sort of family law need.
Divorce lawyer Barrie is a website that can help you sort through things, especially important things when it comes to needing a lawyer. Check out the link and see if they might be able to help you through some of your needs, whether it be just advice or an actual divorce or separation agreement.
I pray that those of you who feel like they can work out their problems of infidelity with their spouse will be able to do so, but if not, you need to have other options open.  Take care of yourself, and take your time with your decision.

Not Everyone Cheats !

According to today's statistics, there are more cheaters out there these days and so many marriages broken up over them....however, I wonder if there were just as many cheaters way back in the day and we just didn't know about it because back then everyone just seemed to stay together, and divorce wasn't very prevalent. I also want to say  that not everyone will experience cheating by their mates. I know that there are good men out there, but how do you find them?  Or perhaps, you let them find you. Recently, someone within my family had a divorce due to her cheating husband and it wasn't pretty at all. He was actually ANGRY at HER for wanting a divorce due to his cheating and he blamed it all on her. She was devastated for a long period of time....however, she has been "taking a break" to work on her own issues and trying to get through her hurt. It is a much needed break. I honestly think that by taking the break is in her best interest...especially to re-group herself and try to work through all the pain, before going out with someone new. I told her to keep her chin up because not everyone cheats!

Finding The Joy In Life

I look at all the experience I have had in this lifetime and I wonder why I was never able to see what was right in front of me when he was cheating. I mean, I may have seen the signs, but they still hit me like a ton of bricks. Never ever in a million years did I think he would actually cheat on me. I was sooooo in love, and thought that he was too. I think that I have endured so much heartache and pain, along with all the drama that I wonder how did I manage to get through it all....and the wierd thing is..that I made it through. The pain was just so deep, and it took me a very long time to get over it, and over him, but my heart was able to heal. I am at a point in my life that I no longer wish to deal with any drama, unless it's on a tv show or something that cannot touch me. I feel like it took me a very long time to get to this point. Some people just heal differently than others, and I have also found that some people never seem to get past the "getting over it" point. If you are experiencing this, where you just cannot seem to get past it, maybe it's time to "allow" yourself to be done with the hurt and the pain and realize that life is just too short to be unhappy all the time. Give yourself a break from the pain and move on from it, but that's only after you feel like you've grieved long enough. Find yourself once again and try to move on to life's other joys.

Is Anything Uncomplicated In Life?

Sometimes I wonder what's going on in this world... I look around and see so many of my family and friends going through marital problems. I just have to wonder what's going on. I saw on the news that the most reasons that people divorce are due to  cheating and money problems. Why do people get so bored in marriage that they find the need to go out and cheat on their spouse?  Does it solve any problems? No, it doesn't...it only makes things worse. Money problems are almost always a problem, especially in this economy...but cheating has been around since forever. Do you think that after divorce comes from infidelity, that the next relationship is any better? What about trust?

Fathers Day Came And Went ....

Father's Day came and our teen daughter let the entire day slip right on through.....without calling her dad. It's been about a year now since she's seen him. He has chosen not to come or call....and will occasionally text her but it's few and far between. I am sure that he missed having her remember him but to her, it was very hard and hurtful for him to choose NOT to come or call. She has her own cell phone so he can call her whenever he wants.....she's almost 17 now and he's missed out on so much already. He didn't attend her quinceanera nearly two years ago, even after she BEGGED and pleaded with him.....he didn't show up for Christmas, or any such holidays. I think that last year on her birthday he texted her a happy birthday. This man has chosen and made it clear that he is way too busy with his other woman who he lives with now. She doesn't have any children and so they are free to do whatever they wish. It's too bad that he has treated her this way....to the point that she doesn't care much anymore. It's sad because I have always felt that she needed him. I am past the point of crying to him and asking him to PLEASE come see her or call....I guess it's his loss now, what a shame!

Following A Budget After Divorce

Learning how to downsize is pretty hard. I was used to 2 paychecks coming in the pay the bills, and now I am down to just me. Child support helps but I get VERY little since he is self employed and doesn't make too much. Learning how to budget is something that I have had to learn. First things first is the fact that you have to make enough money to afford the payments on the rent, or whatever house you are going to be living in. You must factor in the cost of electricity, gas and water and that is combined together to see if you make enough to cover that. Next is making sure that you have the money to buy gas for your car to get to work, food to eat on, and the necessary oil changes and new tire that you might need. Then....there's necessary clothing you need to clothe the children, if you have any, and for yourself to go to work in. All of this needs to be considered before the cable expenses, movie rentals, eating out and extras like going out to have a nice time. It's hard because it's totally different than it was before. Honestly, it CAN be done, as long as you watch your incoming and outgoing expenses. Making a budget is easily done by writing it all down on paper, then it's easier to follow.

Trying To Get A Grip On Finances

Being single is totally different especially when it comes to the paychecks and paying out the bills. The word: budget, comes to mind and oh how I hate that word.
What are some of the ways that we can manage our finances when it comes to having to pay everything by ourselves?
First of all, write down what you have coming in and then write down what is coming out.....this will at least let you look to see what's going on. Secondly, find ways to minimize that cell phone bill, either by changing plans or finding a plan that lets you do what you need to without getting the overcharges. Those little charges for going over or adding something on can really make a difference in the overall picture of things!
Next, make sure you are turning off the lights when you don't need them and keep a check on electricity useage so your bill won't be sky high.
Make a grocery list of things you need and use coupons for the things that you can, because it really helps.
Watch the spending on going out to eat, specialty coffees and things like that because those things can eat up the cash fast without even knowing it.
Also, find a small coffee can or jar and start putting your spare change in it for little treats on a rainy day, or when you need something extra.
Living on a budget can be difficult, but it CAN be done.

Why Does He Keep Calling Me?

He called me again today and I missed his call.... WHAT does he want from me NOW???? Well, I found out, it was the same ole, same ole....he no longer wants our house, the one that he fought me tooth and nail for, and he wants ME to do something about it. This is the second time that he has called me about it, and last month I just let it go because there is nothing I can do about it, but obviously he thinks there is so I listened to him tell me over again about not wanting the house and I told him that I just didn't know. He said that since he is living with his other woman, he doesn't want to be bothered about going back and forth from one house to the other.....this is NOT my problem any longer. Normally, I let things like this bother me, but I am so tired of it all, that I just don't have feelings anymore. I only want to get on with my new life. That was his choice, not mine. Maybe he will learn how to forget my number one of these days, think it's possible?

After The Divorce, Do You Truely Get On With Life?

I have seen so many people who have gone through a divorce and I have not seen too many "nice" divorces though I hear that they can exist. When my husband and I divorced, I was hurt, mad, sad and didn't WANT to get over him because he hurt me so much and I wanted to make it right, but that just didn't happen....yes, we were civil and he even flirted, called and acted like he wanted me back, but I don't know if it was out of convenience for him or what, but he acted like nothing had happened. Do you really get on with life after you divorce? Well, I think that the answer is yes, because I know that I have.
All the kicking and crying I did over that man I really believed that I would never get past it all, but I have to say that I am on with a new life, and it's good. they do have their ups and downs but life is good. I think that it was good for me to take my time working through it all, because it has given me time to heal.
Healing takes time, and no one can really say how long that time will take for each of us, as we all are different in how we process everything......never give up, because time really does heal our wounds.

Me And My Ugly Dishes !

I got a phone call from him yesterday, and immediately I wondered what he wanted NOW! I know this man and he doesn't call unless he wants something or something is wrong....I was right. He proceeded to tell me that he was giving up our home, the one that he fought me so hard to keep. He also told me that he never liked that house, it was ugly, too big and the yard was way too much for cutting. He totally put it all down. He only wanted to fight me for that house because he thought that I would eventually come back to him like I did the last time....but I just couldn't. I was sooooooooo done with him and his cheating. And what's worse, is that he told me that I only have a week to get the rest of my things out of there and asked for ME to set HIS sofa sets out to the curb for him so someone could get a free couch. He said those couches were nasty. I asked about the dishes that I had left for him and he said that he threw most of them out because they were ugly. I am so glad that my name isn't on the paperwork anywhere....I signed it all over to him years ago. He informed me that the house that he and his OW live in now was very cheap rent, just like it was the last time we split and he lived with her. It's going to be okay though, and another chapter of my failed marriage is over.

Where Does The Future Take Me Now?

Here I am, still standing...just me and my daughter. We are doing fine. I never thought I would be able to say that a year ago. Why do things happen a certain way in life? I think taking one baby step at a time is what has helped me the most. Well, that, and a few really good friends that didn't care if I cried on their shoulder and people who cared about what I was going through. I certainly never thought that I would get over all the tears and heartache when I first learned of my husband's (now ex) cheating. He made it seem as though his cheating was over, he was caught and we should have swept it under the rug and moved on with our life. It happened HIS way far too many times and I was tired of being the one who was left holding the bag of tears. At what point was I able to finally make that decision? I think it was something inside of me that showed me that I was better than that. I deserved a better life. I was weak, but I got stronger and finally got the strength to move on. Life alone isn't easy, but it's definetly happier now that I don't have to worry about what he's doing. Life really does get better as time goes on...I am proof of that. Where will this life take me now? That is something that I can't predict but I am still taking my life one step at a time and finally enjoying it. My motto? Life is too short to be unhappy all the time.

Happiness CAN Be Found On The Other Side

I am so proud of myself, which is something that I couldn't always say. I have been putting one foot in front of the other, marching my way back to my own self once again. I am not the same girl that married him, but I am a better me, now that we are divorced and apart, but it just didn't happen overnight. The road to recovery can be a long one, that's for sure, but it can also be a good one. I carried that cheating man in my heart for way too long. I know it now, but at the time, I just couldn't get over him. Afterall, I married him with the intent for it to be forever, but it didn't happen that way. I took a very long time to wonder about the why's and the if's of the whole situation but have discovered that those questions never got answered but I am here anyways! And I am here even better than I was with him. Yes, I still have things to work on, and I know that I will have times of regress, but that's just human. I know that putting one foot in front of the other is what I need to do now and I will continue on my journey for as long as it takes me. Happiness CAN be found on the other side....it just takes time.

Loss, By Death, or Divorce

Sometimes I feel as though I have wasted way too much time reflecting on what happened in my marriage, and other times, I am glad that I took this time to grieve. Now, I just recently lost my mother and I really went through real grieving, unlike I speak about for my ex, but how are the two processes different? Well, they are, but they both hurt so terribly. Losing the loss of my mother was total and utter pain for me because this was the woman who I was born to, the one who raised me and the one who stood by me, thick and then, even when I was wrong. My ex, on the other hand, was my soul mate, or so I thought, didn't stick by me through thick and thin, decided to cheat behind my back and totally destroyed our marriage. Why did I hang on to the pain for so long? Maybe because he was still there. He was still within reach but it was too late. I grieved for the pain of losing him, someone who I could no longer have, someone I could no longer be with. Grief is grief, and pain is there. I just think that with death, you can never get that person back, but divorce, he's gone, but still under your nose, especially if you have children. What is worse?? Losing someone to death or losing them to divorce?

Is She Still My Aunt?

What happens when you divorce and you HAD nephews and nieces that once called you aunt or uncle? Do they still continue to call you that? Are they still your relatives? That's a hard question because I once went through that situation and ended up with half of them still calling me aunt and the other half not. Of course, it does hurt your feelings if you were really close and then all of a sudden, due to the divorce, they no longer consider you family, even if you have been with that family a very long time. When my older children once asked me if I was still the aunt to one of their cousins I told them yes, because I was their mother and they are a part of me, so that didn't change anything. If their father chose to get married with someone else, they might be a step-aunt but I would still be an aunt because of me being a mother to my children... I know, sounds very mind boggling. What do you think about it?

The Aging Process

For me, I have always looked younger than I am, but being through his infidelity and a divorce had really put me through the wringer. I cried, oh how I cried, but I had to learn that it just wasn't meant to be. Although I take pride in taking care of myself, I found myself doing the unthinkable, and in my case, I went outside the house without my makeup on. I don't wear much but have always worn it but while I was crying my eyes out so much, I just didn't want to wear it. I had big saggy, baggy eyes that were swollen like they had been bee stung. Did I start looking old? Yes, I guess I sort of did for awhile but now things are starting to shape up for me. I no longer feel like I need to cry about it, and yes, it's been awhile now since I left, but I think that things just take their own time to heal. Am I getting older? Yes, but I am learning how to get better!!!

Moving Out And Leaving Things Behind

When I moved my things out, it was indeed quite akward because he didn't seem to mind that I was leaving, yet he kept walking by me down the hall and trying to see what was going on. I never wanted to move my things with him around, but he made sure he was there. Although I have been moved out for some time now, I realize that there are still things there in my old house. He has made it a point to let me come in whenever I please to get them, but I hesitate because whenever he sees me, he intimidates me, wants to hug me and give me a kiss. I get confused as to what his intentions are and don't want to face him again after he has put our family through all this turmoil. I wonder if those things I left behind are really as important as they used to be. With the holidays coming soon, I am starting to feel blue.

How Do You Begin Again?

So here's to a new life, what's next? How do you go about accomplishing a new start? Well, first of all, you will move on when you are good and ready but what about trying to do it while everything is still fresh on your mind? It might be a good time to resolve yourself to a new way of thinking. What kind of a person were you and what did you like to do before you got married? What kind of hobbies did you choose for yourself? Maybe now is a good time to try and go back to "you", the person that had their own thoughts and dreams, a new person who is going to emerge from all of this hurt and pain of the divorce or separation. How do you start? Well, let's just say that maybe you really enjoyed going bowling before you got married, but as the marriage went on, and kids came into your life, you didn't have time for that anymore......well, maybe now is the time to try it again. What if your'e not into bowling? How about a new hobby? What about doing some charity work, helping someone that really needs it? That can also be fulfilling. How about going to the bookstore and getting a cup of coffee and just sitting down to relax a bit? What ever you choose, you can begin a new life for yourself.....a new life of hope and dreams, putting the pain of your lost love behind you.

Does Going Through Menopause Affect How You Deal With His Cheating?

I don't know what menopause or that peri menopause has to do with anything, maybe nothing at all but when I found out the first time that my husband was cheating, I went totally crazy. At first, I didn't want to believe what I was hearing. I shunned talk about him and what he was seen doing. But after I thought about it, I wanted to find out, and boy did I find out. I was suffering through a bad time in my life, going through a very early menopausal period in life. I look back at it now, and wonder what on earth I was thinking and doing at that time in my life. I found out rather badly, as I have stated in earlier postings, and instead of staying around to confront him, I went home and packed everything I could and just flat took off. I left my own home. Why did I do that so quickly? I wonder if suffering with menopause had anything to do with my actions. I did, of course, come back about 9-10 months later, re-united with him, hoping to work things out, and of course after a couple years of trying, things failed miserably, but I was in a much better frame of mind then. Does going through changes in life affect the way you see and do things in your life?

Who Gets The Bills?

Apparently, I got stuck with alot of the bills, but he did put some work into our house, and he too, put some home improvements on his credit as well. I had one card, he had another. When we split up, I kept my card, he kept his. Not long after I moved out, I got a call from an attorney. He had gone in to complain about the fact that he was stuck with a credit card with home improvements that he was having to pay for alone....well, not only was I paying on my own card with home improvements on it, but he was living in the house. I was the one who picked out the house. I never wanted to leave, but after all was said and done, he would not move out. I ended up with nothing, only personal belongings. Once again, I got the shaft. When he cheated on me, and then again when I lost my half of the house, and then he had the nerve to want me to pay on his credit card too? I quickly explained to the attorney that not only was he in the house, but he was self employed and he puts most of his business expenses on his card, not only our home improvents. I really don't know what he was thinking, except to maybe try and get my attention. Why did he cause all this commotion? Who got the bills? I got most of them....that's right, I really feel like I got the bad end of the deal.

Our Wedding Rings

What do you do with the rings that you once wore together? Well, in our case, I was the ring-wearing one and his ring stayed in his top drawer because of the job he did. He just didn't wear it much, maybe some weekends, but I always wore mine. Maybe I was more sentimental with those kinds of things but it really did mean something to me. When we split up, I took the ring out of his top drawer because I felt that he didn't need it anymore. He had been out with other women and his ring was like new.....and I felt like I spent my hard earned money for something that he didn't seem to care about anyways. Later, he found out that I had taken it and asked me for it. I honestly don't know why he wanted it so badly. Why didn't he care enough while we were together to want the ring, a symbol of our love? Maybe after everything was said and done, he finally decided to care.