Loss, By Death, or Divorce

Sometimes I feel as though I have wasted way too much time reflecting on what happened in my marriage, and other times, I am glad that I took this time to grieve. Now, I just recently lost my mother and I really went through real grieving, unlike I speak about for my ex, but how are the two processes different? Well, they are, but they both hurt so terribly. Losing the loss of my mother was total and utter pain for me because this was the woman who I was born to, the one who raised me and the one who stood by me, thick and then, even when I was wrong. My ex, on the other hand, was my soul mate, or so I thought, didn't stick by me through thick and thin, decided to cheat behind my back and totally destroyed our marriage. Why did I hang on to the pain for so long? Maybe because he was still there. He was still within reach but it was too late. I grieved for the pain of losing him, someone who I could no longer have, someone I could no longer be with. Grief is grief, and pain is there. I just think that with death, you can never get that person back, but divorce, he's gone, but still under your nose, especially if you have children. What is worse?? Losing someone to death or losing them to divorce?