Today was just totally unexpected when he called me to tell me happy anniversary. I was shocked, stunned and speechless. I had just almost forgotten what this day was because of all the heartache he has put me through. I had loved him so much but all the pain made me want to forget. The last thing I would have thought I would hear from him was his wishing me a happy anniversary when we aren't even together anymore. He was talking to me as if we were still together, and I didn't quite understand what was going on with him. Does he not think that I am upset that he doesn't have time to come and see our daughter? Doesn't he stop and think that he should? I honestly do not know what's on his mind and I guess I never really did. I hurried up and got off the phone with him because I didn't know what was coming next, but.....oh no! oh yes, he did, he told me that he loved me before I hung up. What in the world is he saying this to me for when he is NOW with the other woman? I am really confused by his actions.
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I am in the process of getting divorced because my husband fell in love with another woman after 23 years. Over the last 6 months, he has gone back and forth between us several times. Telling me he still loves me, wants to be married forever, he needs my intellect and will never leave me. I will not be suprised if he calls on our anniversay even though we will be divorced by then. We have even been together since he moved out.
Once he sees her again though - he can't let her go and believes she is his soulmate. She is also married and getting a divorce - they are destroying two families for a very juvenile relationship of constant texting and thinking every love song and movie are about them. They even call each other Benjiman and Daisy after the Benjiman Button movie. She is already calling his new furniture "our couch" and "our bed" and planning the house, car, and vacations she wants him to take her on. But he doesn't see it and I simiply can't be that person for him.
I can't take the up and down anymore so I know our marriage will end in divorce shortly. It huts so much - I feel like I will never get past it. He doesn't understand why I feel so damaged and wants to be friends. I know he still loves me and we could have worked through our marriage troubles and had a great if she were not in the picture. But he is to addicted to the constant attention, affection, and adoration that she gives him. After supporting him through medical school, working, and raising our daughter - our relationship was distant and lacked intimacy and time together and I realize I am a lot responsible for that. But I always thought we loved each other and had fun and our time would come. Now it is over and I am still in disbelief. I know he is gone now but I just can't stop thinking about how stupid it is and I get stuck on regret and "what ifs".
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