What Do The Neighbors Think?

If you even live any neighbors at all, you wonder how much they've heard of the arguements or seen what's going on in your home. Living close to others is not the easiest thing at keeping things to a quiet minimum. Do you talk to the neighbors about your situation? Well, I never did because I didn't think that they needed to know. However, I was always wondering if they were noticing how late my hubby would come home at night or how much he was gone from the home. I had good neighbors because they never asked any questions. I also tried to make things seem as normal as possible. Do you really care what the neighbors are thinking anyways?

Dealing With A Man Who Doesn't Want To Talk

Frustrating as it is, as much as I wanted the answers to all my questions, he was not willing to talk about it. The more and more I prodded, the more he pulled away. Why didn't he want to satisfy my curiosity, knowing that he was the one who cheated on me. He was the one who did wrong in our marriage. I wanted answers, but gone nothing. How do you deal with a man who doesn't want to talk about it? Actually, you cannot make him tell you everything. Even threatening to leave him still didn't work. Giving him the cold shoulder was the only thing that helped me through all this, as far as him thinking that he was being smart by not answering. Perhaps he didn't want to face the actual fact that he had gotten "found out". He didn't want to get into a big arguement because he knew that he was in the wrong. To this day, I have still never gotten any answers, and have to live day by day knowing that at this point, I will never know. I did find a clegyman to talk to, who was also a dear friend of our family. He really did bring alot up for me to think about which helped me get through some of the biggest questions I had. I hope if you are reading this, you will be able to find someone to talk to about your situation and just know, sometimes, you may not get the answers you are looking for.

Staying Healthy While Going Through a Divorce

Going through infidelity,and finding that my husband was lying to me really kicked me and my self esteem to the curb. I was so sad and lonely, wanting only to find the answers to many questions that he just refused to answer. I found myself weeping and crying at many odd hours of the day, sometimes not even able to keep my crying down to a minimum tear. During this period of time, I totally neglected my health, not even thinking about how it could affect my body. During times of sadness and trouble, we often forget to take care of ourselves. Although I took meds for high blood pressure, I found myself forgetting when I took my last dose. This could have become a dangerous situation for me, but luckily, I survived. We must learn to stop long enough to remember that our bodies really become weak when we are upset, thus allowing our antibodies to leave us unprotected and easier to get sick. Taking care of ourself and our health is so important. Please take enough time to find ways of relieving stress, while in the grieving process of infidelity, separation or divorce. After all, you don't want to become ill and unable to care about the things that you need to take care of.

Stress, Stress, Stress !!!

Why does life have to be full of stress? It was so stressful learning about his cheating and trying to find out who the other woman was, but now, after it is all over and done, I still find that I am dealing with even more stress. For one, learning how to be a single mother, having to take care of a teen to dealing with even more issues of my ex not wanting to come and see her has knocked my stress factor way over the top. For another issue, I now have to learn how to pay bills on one paycheck and child support, instead of two incomes. A good friend of mine recommended that I set aside a few minutes for myself, ever so often, to take a relaxing bath, or go out and buy myself something special, but honestly, who really has time to do these things when you are working and raising kids? I just have to re-learn how to stop and smell the roses from time to time.

Sometimes Days Feel Like They Last Forever

Being separated/divorced sure puts a different perspective on life. Laundry isn't done the same as before, daily meals are prepared differently, and boy oh boy, those bills are sure paid whenever the money comes in now days. Some days feel like they go on and on as though they last forever. Maybe I spend too much time thinking about what could have been or what should have been. I really don't like change. My lifestyle was so comfortable, all of course, but his cheating and lying. I ended up moving out, which took alot of time and effort. I had to learn how to make due with less money and I had to learn how to cook smaller meals. Those can be good things too, I recon, but time sure seems to lag on when you don't have alot of things going on in your life. I think that I should take up a hobby or something to keep my mind busy so I won't think about the past too much. How do you deal with being on your own?

Can I Really Get Over Him?

My oh my, I don't know why he gets stuck in my head, in my thoughts after all this time. Why did this man have to be a cheater? I wonder if it was just in his blood. I guess he must have grown up thinking that this kind of behavior was alright. But it wasn't, at least not to me. I wonder sometimes if I will ever get over him. We were so happy at one time. Actually, we didn't fight much, except when I found out about his cheating.....then it was a constant battle. Why do I keep remembering the good things about him and tend to shuffle some of the bad under the rug? Will I ever get over him? I really do think that one day, the answer will be yes, but it just takes time for wounds to heal. He turned out to be a nice looking, hard working man, but that just wasn't enough to make a marriage work. I know that by taking one day at a time, I will become a stronger woman. I know that even though my heart says one thing, my head and mind are stronger and knows that living with a cheater that doesn't want to make things right, would have never worked for me. I needed a man who was in love with only me, and who wanted to make our family happy.

10 Steps To Recovery After Infidelity

Just exactly what are the steps to recovering after your partner has cheated on you? How do you get over it? Well, sometimes you just don't get over it, but you can learn how to put your mind more at ease with these little steps.
1. Accept the fact that you are not always going to get all the answers you want. We want to know why it happened and all the small details but we won't always get all the answers.
2. Learning how to trust your partner again will take time.
3. Both partners must both want to work things out to stay together. One sided relationships just do not work.
4. Councelors, clergy, and others who do not have a side in your relationship really can offer alot of advice.
5. Only you can decide your future. Well-meaning relatives that like giving advice cannot make your decisions for you. You must do this on your own.
6. Don't put a timetable on yourself. Sometimes time heals and sometimes it's time to let go.
7. Be kind to yourself. You are not the one who stepped outside the relationship. You did not make the choice to cheat.
8. Don't bring the children into your arguments. They are innocent and need to be left out of the heated conversations.
9. Do something nice for yourself. This really helped me alot while I was dealing with my ex-hubby's cheating.
10. Learn that at some point in your life, you must either forgive and go on in peace, or settle on a resting place so that you can move on with life. Don't let his/her infidelity run your life for the rest of your life.

Did He Tune Us Out?

I guess my ex hubby must have tuned us out of his life because he sure hasn't called about our daughter or even come by to see her. She has called him with no return phone calls as well. What happens to a man who's cheated and has lost his family over it? First of all, he doesn't have his built-in cook....so now he's having to cook or eat out most of his meals, unless he's lucky enough to get the other woman to cook for him. Secondly, he's lost his housekeeper because now he's cleaning up the house by himself. I wonder if that made him appreciate me more? Thirdly, he has lost all the chatter and noisiness in the home. We are not there with the tv's and radios going so now he has alot of peace and quiet. And to think, he doesn't have anyone at home to bark at about anything he wants when he comes in. Do you suppose he's happier this way? Has he become such a loner now that we are gone or is he just wanting me to think he is and feel sorry for him? I know he didn't spend Father's Day alone, because he normally doesn't like being alone. Maybe the other woman is now taking on some of these chores. I wonder how long she's going to stick around now with having to get into some of the chores of daily life with him, and not being wined and dined so much?

A Lonely Father's Day

How do you celebrate your ex's Father's Day ? My daughter has always wanted anxiously to go out and purchase her dad something special for his Father's Day gift, but something has changed this year. I don't know if it's because she is grown up enough to see how things are happening or she just doesn't have that sparkle about the buying gifts this year. Although child support just started back up again after a very long five-month halt due to an injury he had, he has not spent any time coming to see his beautiful daughter. Our daughter is a teen, full of life and love, but he just doesn't seem to care anymore. How will we be spending father's day? For the moment, I am not sure, but all our daughter bought this year was a card for him. I wasn't sure how to handle this, but I think that she is doing what she feels is best. Maybe she is starting to see how he treats her. How would you handle a father who doesn't want to come around to visit his children? He can come at ANY time to see her, pick her up or whatever and doesn't have the TIME for her. He is surely going to have a lonely father's day this year.....but will he even care?

Trusting Is So Important

When I discovered his cheating, on top of the shock, I felt be-littled. I had trusted him so much but he violated my trust. He felt like his telling me how sorry he was meant that I would immediately trust him again. That didn't happen. I was not about to let my guard down again, especially only on his word of trust. Trusting your mate is one of the most important parts of being together. During the time I suspected his cheating, I spent countless hours checking behind him, and I felt like I wasted precious time. I totally wanted things to be back to our "normal" life again, but it would never be. I even tried staying with him for a while after he apologized but he wasn't willing to work things out with me, the other woman kept calling and for me, with no trust, I wasn't able to build a life back with him. How important do you believe trust is in a relationship?

What Happens Next -- Once You've Discovered Infidelity?

Once I discovered his infidelity, I spent countless months chasing after the fact that I wanted to catch them together so I could actually "prove" that I knew he was cheating. That did not happen, and I guess it was because I told him about my suspicions and he got better and better at hiding things with her. He became a true master of arts at hiding and being sneaky. I ran myself ragged over trying to follow him or looking through his van for clues of other women that would have been sitting on the passenger side seat. I wasted so much of my precious time and I wished now that I would have been able to let things go and move on, but I wasn't. What happens when you discover the cheating? Do you wait for more proof, or do you get it all right out there right away?

Was It My Destiny To Be Cheated On?

What did I do to deserve what he gave to me? I was a great wife. I would like to know if I was destined for this heartache. I married him to have a partner in life. I wanted him and I to live that sometimes "fantasy dream" of a marriage that lasts forever, and the only thing that I got was his cheating on me. I often wonder if I had done something in life to deserve all the hurt and worry that I got with him. It wasn't always like that, but did I do something to get that final kick in the boot? Will I be able to find a new love that will treat me right?

What Is Love All About?

Oftentimes, I wonder what love is really all about anyways. I grew up knowing that love wasn't easy but I sure wanted to try it out for myself, and that, I did. My parents were together for all of my 16 years, but divorced, leaving me to wonder what went wrong and how could things get so far mixed up that it had to end that way. I am here to tell you, that the feelings that I had for my ex went way beyond just liking him. He was a good, hard working man. My heart always felt so joyous when I saw him and I did everything in my power to please him. I was grateful to have him. I never knew that we would have ended up in divorce. We were very compatible as well, but one thing that we did not have was communication. He did not like talking and he didn't like discussing anything at all. I still wonder what led him to cheat on me, and did he ever even love me at all?