Lying To Keep Up With The Lies

I knew he was sneaky, but he was a very good liar too. Once I started finding a trail of him and the other woman, I started asking questions. He had been lying to me, as well as to many of his friends, except for one of them. This one friend knew some of what was going on, but as my husband was telling me one thing, and his friend another, he began having to tell one lie to cover up another. When they get so caught up in what they're doing, at some point, they get comfortable enough that they sometimes forget what they've told you or others. Some say that you can tell when someone is lying by their figity habits they portrey, but with my husband, I could never tell. He was always straight-faced about things. One thing I was able to find out was his story and his friend's story usually were never the same.

Settling For Less Than What You Deserve

Why did I settle for so much less? I know that when I was in the situation, I really wanted to try and make it work. But looking at hind site now, I wonder what took me so long to get out of that situation. I spent countless days sneaking around his sneakiness, trying to find out what phone calls were coming in on his cell phone, I snuck out early every single morning to his van to find out what money he had hiding. I became tired of the same old thing.....and nothing helped my situation. He was cheating and I couldn't stop him. Back when they had pagers, I even took his pager from him, because I felt like he had a cell phone, why a pager too? Well, she was sending him codes on it and I couldn't figure it out. I ran up a brick wall about the whole thing and nothing helped. I sit here and wonder why I settled for so much less...why I put up with his cheating, lying and sneakiness. I was miserable and he didn't care. I now see, that I am so much better than all of this and I'm so glad that I don't have to settle for his bad behaviour anymore.

The More I Asked, The More He Hid

I found out by trial and error, that the more that I asked him questions about the "other woman" the more he hid from me. Now, it was easy for me to discover her phone messages that was left, the letters that she sent through the mail and the longer extended periods of time he was gone, but when I started questioning things, he got better at hiding things from me. He didn't care that I knew the truth, his only care was protecting her from me. He told her to quit leaving messages openly over the cell, so she then started leaving text messages that seemed like coding. He didn't know that I confiscated the letters that she wrote at first because I knew he would deny it all. He started seeing her during his lunch hours instead so that he would come home earlier. The more I questioned, or told him that I knew what was going on, the more he went into hiding things, and became more trickier. I wished that I could have held my tongue a little longer, but honestly, I had just had enough and couldn't keep on going with the lies.

Living with lies

As time went on, things started getting worse. He began hiding money in his work truck, my daughter and friends were in the garage one day and playing the stereo loudly accidently knocked down some strange pictures hiding in the rafters. I looked at the pic of 2 little boys and inscribed on the back was in spanish and at the time I couldn't understand it very well but supposedly it said why don't you want us? I was totally confused. I knew that he was not much a talker and didn't say a whole lot about his past but who were these little boys and how did the picture get up there? I jumped way too fast. I confronted him about them and he made up a song and dance about them being nephews.....much later I found out that they were not his nephews. I wished now that I would have kept on to those pics because he tore them up into shreds as soon as he saw them. Many moons later, he told me that he had been with another woman years ago and they were supposedly HER kids. He also told me that he had 2 kids, but in reality there were 3....and that's not the ones in the pics. I soon started noticing more and more lies. He started changing some in the fact that he was coming and going alot, his lies became more frequent. Still, when you love someone, you want to believe in them....boy was I wrong.