The More I Asked, The More He Hid
I found out by trial and error, that the more that I asked him questions about the "other woman" the more he hid from me. Now, it was easy for me to discover her phone messages that was left, the letters that she sent through the mail and the longer extended periods of time he was gone, but when I started questioning things, he got better at hiding things from me. He didn't care that I knew the truth, his only care was protecting her from me. He told her to quit leaving messages openly over the cell, so she then started leaving text messages that seemed like coding. He didn't know that I confiscated the letters that she wrote at first because I knew he would deny it all. He started seeing her during his lunch hours instead so that he would come home earlier. The more I questioned, or told him that I knew what was going on, the more he went into hiding things, and became more trickier. I wished that I could have held my tongue a little longer, but honestly, I had just had enough and couldn't keep on going with the lies.
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My heart goes out to you as I know the pain of infidelity. As long as your husband is protecting her his loyalty is not with you but with her.
My guess is she is in control of him and is coaching him to betray you. She knows he is a married man and a father. She is despicable!
Instead of chasing him start asking questions like; Why are you attracted to a woman who would lie and cheat? How is she controlling you? Are you planning on living with her when you move out? Do you know how much of your income will go in child and spousal support?
The purpose is to make him think of the consequences. As long as you keep saying I will stay with you please stop cheating he does not have to look at the real consequences of his actions.
Don't promise to stay with a cheater it only gets worse and hurts more deeply later.
Hold him accountable as an adult for the responsibilities he has assumed!
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