To Believe or Not To Believe

Since the "other woman" had begun getting more braver with letters and more phone calls, I still didn't want to believe that it was HIM. I wanted to give him the "benefit of the doubt". I felt that perhaps it was her chasing after him since he supposedly told her that he wanted to be with me and our family again. Perhaps she just couldn't give it up? Could she be a stalker do you think? No, I think I knew better, in the back of my mind. So much activity going on, and here I was, waiting to "catch" him. But there wasn't going to be any catching because he was not going to allow me to find anything out. With only phone calls and letters, he still wanted me to believe that it wasn't him. It was her and she was "crazy"

When you go snooping for something........

I wanted to protect "our family" so much that I got desperate. I started checking the cell phone when he would go to take his shower, which was often because sometimes he would come in from a job and shower, so it was happening like 3 times a day. I would write down calls coming in and then I would look at the calls made out. He rarely made any calls out. Now, I got into such a habit of this, I was good at it, but it became such a ritual for me that it was almost like something I did in my normal routine of things during the day. I really shouldn't have done this. I hated doing this. All it did was take up MY time. Did I find anything? I found lots of numbers, and I found numbers once again from her work location. I went looking for something and I found it. Oh, I wished that I hadn't have. I was mad at myself for snooping for one, and mad once again that she was calling him again. But why? Couldn't she just leave us in peace?

Finding phone numbers on the cell phone

I got brave, and I confronted him about the phone calls. I questioned him about the privately marked calls. He told me that they were telemarketers, or perhaps customers who didn't want him to know their phone numbers.....hahaha, that seems funny now because if I had thought about it THEN, I would have asked him why would some customer call for a job if they didn't want him to have their number. Boy, I really took it all in. There were times when he got downright MEAN and UGLY about my questions. After all, I wasn't supposed to be asking. So, one day, I became extremely desperate. I waited until he took his shower, and I saw his phone just there in the room like it was calling my name to open it. I know, I DID invade his privacy by getting it and opening it up. After all, he was going to be in the shower for awhile and I knew that I had time to just look. I saw so many numbers in there that I became intrigued. So, I did something without thinking..... I started writing down the numbers, and not only that, I wrote down what time they came in, and how long they were. I thought that maybe I could find a pattern of the same number. Then, I saw something that I didn't want to see. I saw a number with a different area code, but that was close to us, very close. I have to tell you the truth, after that, I hid the numbers and my heartbeat was rapidly beating that I felt wierd inside.