Looking Through Our Children's Eyes
Seeing myself torn up over his cheating was bad enough, but how did my children see me? Looking through my children's eyes, they probably saw things a whole lot clearer than I did. Children are very smart and they sense when there's a problem, even if they don't know what the problem is. My son was in high school and he could see that I was going crazy trying to wonder where his dad was all the time. I tried not to show how worried I was about him not coming home early or being here very much but as much as I tried to hide it, he could still see that there were problems. I surely didn't want to alert my children about our troubles, but they knew something wasn't right. My hubby came in and out as he pleased, and he was doing as he pleased. He was showing my children that it was OKAY to treat me like this, but it really was NOT okay. I felt trapped by the fact that I was trying so hard to cover our problems from the kids, yet trying to hang to what I had left of a marriage, which really wasn't much, especially since he had someone else. I felt like on one end, I had to be nice and happy to show my kids that things were ok, but deep down inside, my heart was crying. Looking through children's eyes, they can see when you are sad. Many times, you don't stop to realize that, but they know when mom's not the same as she was. How do you make things ok for the children?
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I found your site searching for information on how infidelity affects teenagers.
I found out October 2006 that my husband had been having a physical affair since August 2006. It had been an emotional affair for many months before that. After three false reconciliations, husband finally decided to move out this past July. Up until that time, I had "tried" to maintain a front for my two teenage children. I was willing to do anything to keep my family together.
We did not tell the kids the exact reason their dad was leaving--just that we had been having problems in our marriage for several years, which was true.
Just recently, I discovered that our 16 year old daughter has know about her father's infidelity since last August, before me. She kept the secret for over a year. She is now going to counseling to deal with the pent up emotions she has held in.
Our children are smarter than we think. They are cell phone savvy and computer savvy. They are also fiercly protective their mothers.
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