What Makes A Person Cheat On Their Partner?

Through all the days that I went through infidelity of my now-ex husband, I wondered WHY!!!!!  It took me forever to get past the questions and not receiving any answers...and well, it's been years and I still never got his answer as to why he put me and our family through this.  It won't take away the tears if you find the answer because it hurts just as much as if you don't know, but thinking back, I think that different people have different reasons why they cheat on their mate.
In my situation, I was more than willing to go the distance and did everything in my power to please. I left no stone unturned and when I tried, I tried with everything I had. IT did not work. Honestly, in my situation, I am left to wonder if it was something within himself that he had been searching for that he didn't feel that I addressed. I knew that he had a different upbringing than I and  I knew that he and I had a bit of a problem with communication.He was not a communicator.  I still felt like those things shouldn't have brought on his infidelities. I look at the past and see that the women that he cheated on me with were NOT prettier than me, didn't offer anything different than I did as far as work and support, they didn't have more money, but they DID have a need.  They were needier than I was. They didn't have cars, neither one of them and they NEEDED his help. I was self sufficient, I was the one who did for myself....not that it was wrong, because it's not...but HE must have felt the need to help these women. And most likely, one of the two he was with spoke his language. It was something within himself that wasn't able to work things out with me....it was NOT MY FAULT.....so, with that being said, if you are going through your partner's infidelity, it's most likely going to be something within themselves that's causing them to be cheating. You can do everything right, and if they have something going on within, there's nothing that you can do but try to work things out or walk out. Life is very precious and you never know what's going to happen in your future, but never blame yourself for what has happened because it's something that comes from the other person. Work on yourself, take time to do things for YOU....and always remember that it takes TWO to work things out.

What Do You Look For In A Partner?

After divorce, the world just seems to be so big and scarey, especially if you feel like you are in this world alone. Honestly, sometimes the loneliness can get to you but it's also very hard to start looking for someone new. Many folks believe that you should spend some time alone to yourself for a bit, long enough to give your heart some time to repair it's self from the heartache and sadness of losing your partner to infidelity. But what happens when you ARE ready to jump back out into the sea of love again? What do you look for in your next partner? Do you look for someone to re-marry, or do you take it nice and slow and see how things develop? Everyone has a different criteria for how they choose their next mate, but for me, it seems that I would want to find someone who was DIFFERENT than my exhusband because I am too afraid that I would pick someone again, who was just like him....and I don't want that. Do you go for the outward appearance first and then look on the inside later? I don't think that many people look at the heart-side of it first.....most look for someone who is attractive to them first. My mother always had a little saying "being pretty doesn't always mean it's on the outside---you have to be a nice person from the inside as well for it to make a difference". I guess as a younger person, I didn't always see it that way, but now, after experiencing all I have, I am starting to see it her way. What do I look for in my next partner? I am going to look for someone who has a generous and loving heart and someone who doesn't believe in cheating on their spouse. That might be hard to find, but I KNOW they exist.

Do You Have Control Over His Cheating?

I am always reading on the internet and many times I have seen articles that state "how you can keep your mate from cheating", however, it disturbs me, since I have gone through it, that you cannot always control what your mate is doing. Many marriages have problems, some that are fixable and some are not. In the instant that you have a marriage that has problems, you need to actually accept that there are problems and seek ways of trying to repair them. Some are not repairable, but some are. What about the marriages that seem to be really going well and your mate cheats? That was what happened to me. I don't understand how some of these articles that read "how you can keep your mate from cheating" when honestly, you cannot control another person. You'd like to hope that your mate wouldn't do that to you, but really, I tried to control the other woman from calling my husband and it simply did not work. Maybe it's really only yourself that you can control in the hopes that he won't cheat.