How Long Does It Take To Move On After Infidelity?
How long does it take someone to actually move on after the break up of a relationship or marriage due to infidelity? I have seen it in my different timings....in my own, it seemed like it took forever. I just had a very hard time getting myself to open myself up to anyone else. I had to learn to get over my ex, before I could move on. I have also known people who go out with other people JUST to get over the past....not me. For me, it was YEARS. Why did it take so long? Was I thinking at all? Maybe I just wanted to leave an open space of time to be able to ponder on what had happened to me. Actually, I was still wanting answers....you know, the" how come he did this to me?", and the " why did he cheat on me if he says he really loves me?" and the famous.."oh, you just THOUGHT I did something but I didn't"....no, I didn't get any of those answers and to this day, I know I never will. But it did take me a very long time to be able to get him out of my system. After all, he broke apart our family, our home, and my heart. So, if you are going through infidelity with your other half, don't expect to get all the answers you are looking for, and don't keep waiting for the answers. Moving on is something that we all do differently. It takes time...it takes crying, getting mad, and then just finding something better in life. Don't be too hard on yourself. Be patient.
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5 comments:
As always, this is great advice. We were in counseling for six months before I ventured out into the world to find out why people cheated in their marriages. It will be four years this October that I learned about my husband's infidelity. Not sure you ever really move on from this stuff, but you do learn a lot about yourself in the process :)
Infidelity is probably the biggest emotional killer. Many people say infidelity is caused by partners lack of care, willingness to spend more time with, etc etc...Hell NO. Infidelity such as many other peoples misbehavior comes from moral principles that had (NOT) been built in early childhood.
Anyways, I love your blog and I have one similar. If you interested to exchange links or talk about issues, It would be my pleasure. Alex
I love your blog and read it :)
Keep posting :)
BTW, I'm from Iran :)
I am very much still healing after recently finding out about my husband's 10 months of infidelity. My gut told me something was wrong but I chose to ignore it (1st lesson learned). We've been to counseling and are working through it. Finding out your best friend/partner/lover was intimate both physically and emotionally with another person is just deveastating. It turned my world upside down. We felt like we were at the bottom and had the decision to either separate or work through the issues of distrust and pain and possibly build a stronger relationship. We chose the 2nd option. I am still hurting and have not built the trust back completely, as that will take time, but we are working toward that goal. Unfortunately these situations change you a bit, as all of you probably know. I am hopeful that with time and behavior changes, we can work toward a fully trusting, honest, loving marriage again.
to hurtbuthopeful, I honestly wish you the very best. Things CAN be worked out if both of you are working on it. Best of luck!
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