The pain and suffering through a spouse's infidelity is real. My blog is about discovering infidelity, the pain and how we can try and overcome.
What Does The Other Woman Want With A Married Man?
What would a single woman want with a married man? He isn't actually available, unless he's planning on leaving his wife and family. I know that my ex was NOT planning on me finding out about his other woman and did not want to break apart our marriage for her, so what did she want with him anyways? Well, good question and since I am not the other woman, I really don't know what the answer is, but perhaps I can give it a good guess. I know that she DID recieve money from him that helped her out, but that can't be all it was because my ex never made a whole lot of money.....he was really good at hiding it from me though, as I found out. Could it be that she wants him because she doesn't really want to deal with a "full-time" man? I know that when he was with her, it couldn't be for long periods of time. So, what else could she have found appealing in my man? He was a very good looking man, that's for sure but that can't be all there was, so if anybody knows, could you shed some light on it for me? I don't know what she wanted in him, but she has him now, and I am SOOOOOO glad.
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As someone who had previously dated a married woman, and years later can now reflect on it, I might be able to provide some insight.
Her interest in him could be directly related to the fact that he shouldn't be available. The taboo of being intimate with someone who should be considered unavailable is quite intriguing.
She may be the type who doesn't invest a great deal of emotion in a relationship, so she is fine with what little time she gets. She may suffer from low self-esteem and is just happy that someone else is paying attention to her.
I can only help that this bit of insight is helpful.
thankyou for your insight....I do know that wanting something that you shouldn't be able to have is quite intriging for many.
Debbie, thanks for your honesty and openness about your experiences. My spouse and I have been dealing with infidelity over the years too. We are still together and trying to learn from it and work on our relationship and "make our mess our message," so to speak. I hope you'll stop by our blog at affairbusters.blogspot.com sometime. We just started it, so we're gathering information at this time to know who might be interested in such a site. A link from your blog to ours would be greatly appreciated to generate some traffic. Our goal is to help both partners involved - and ultimately prevent affairs from ever happening in the first place. Thank you and God Bless!
It was the sex. It was the attention. It was the excited of participating in something that is forbidden. It was selfish. It was immoral. It was stupid.
I can think of one other reason:
Women can see stability in married men and married men will tell their bit on the side they will leave their wife and kids so that they can be together, even if he has no intention of doing so and he can have the best of both worlds.
What John said is probably more true than many realize, especially if the other woman is also married. I recently discovered my husband has been having an ongoing affair for the past four years with a married woman who has two children and a wealthy husband.At least initially I think the taboo and intrigue factor played a large part. However, I think they must have developed a stronger attachment because he continued to see her after I discovered them and went to unbelievable lengths to continue the relationship. We are now separated and I am assuming he is continuing to see her. A very big part of me wants to tell her husband because I feel its not fair that she should have such an easy life but be partly responsible for breaking my family apart. I wonder what others think about telling the other woman's husband?
Anonymous,
My recommendation would be to not tell the other woman's husband. Whether it is or it is not, it comes across as vengeful. Since you were not - and are not - a friend of that man or that couple, their relationship is not really of your concern. I'm not sure you can use the "righteous" card as a reason. If you (or your husband) have made the decision to separate (or divorce), then his relationship with another person is no longer your business. It sucks, but its true. I'd concentrate on keeping your thoughts, words, and actions "pure" so that you can always feel good about how you handled this situation. The truth will eventually be revealed to this other man - whether his wife tells him or he finds out himself. Either way, at least you won't be more tangled in the mess, you will be working on a happier life. My thinking is to always stay on the path to heaven; there are rewards there that are greater than any on Earth. You may rebuke those who have sinned against you (such as your husband and the other woman), but I would not meddle in other people's relationships. (This is just one person's opinion.) Either way, good luck to you and God Bless.
dear anonymous, I feel that you are the only one who can decide if it's really worth telling her husband or not. Do some soul searching about it first.... I think that even if you told him, it might not make a difference because they will find a way to continue on if that's what they are all about. I think that concentrating on doing things for YOU is something you should do, and as they say, what comes around goes around. Just my opinon. I wish you the best in your decision.
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Well I had to deal with my ex having another woman and he moved out then moved in with her to the exclusion of our children. Now for some reason I feel myself pulled to continuing the sexual relationship with my ex. I know it's wrong but for me, the reason i want this man is a power issue. I know he left me for her but it's a petty way of saying, I was not that bad
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