Did you know who the other woman was in your husband's/wife's affair? If not, did you try to pry around to see who it was, or what she/he was about? I'm sure that you wondered what SHE/He had that was so wonderful that your husband/wife chose her instead of you. This was so true with me. I wanted to know what was so great about her....why did he want someone else? Was she pretty? Did she have something spectacular? Most of the time, they don't....they are just normal looking women/men. In my ex husband's case, his other woman was bigger in weight than me, and she was not pretty at all. She was just an average looking person. Actually, it was someone that I did happen to meet once, and he told me about her a long time ago, but it was someone that he met during his work day, a customer. They became friends. She knew all about me. She knew all about our daughter and even saw us at the grocery store on occasion. I wondered for so many years about her and the whats and whys of why he did this to us, but it didn't matter because it was already done.
He is with her now and seems to be happy. I honestly think that he has better communication with her and that's one thing that I can see now. They both speak the same language because they come from the same country....but his second Other Woman? I don't get it at all. She knew me as well....I even helped her out by taking her to work some times. Now what did he have in common with her? Totally nothing, except for the fact that she was always in need.......money, rides, and you name it.
Did you know the other woman?
4 comments:
I sort of knew her. We were moving to another state. He left before my daughter and I and was staying with his sister. He met his sisters best friend, they started hanging out as friends and then when my daughter and I got up there they decided to perform oral "tasks" on eachother with us just down the hall. I walked in to get some pain reliever and cought them. She's a pretty girl but so am I. And since she was my sister-in-laws best friend I have since learned that she drinks a lot, and goes to bars to find men and often brings them home with her. I'm not sure if she's changed her evil ways since they've been together but he seems happy and so does she. I just wonder why he had to pick someone less classy than myself. She is high matenance and at first sight might seem to be a classy woman, but her actions speak otherwise. I hate to say it but I'm waiting for the day that she breaks his heart and maybe then he'll have to think about what he did. Not because I want him back, but because I don't think it's fair that after almost five years together and me treating him so well he can do this, ruin what once was a good relationship, and he's just fine. Meanwhile I have to pick up the pieces of my life, find a new job, and I'm not ready to be in a relationship yet. He on the other hand, is in a new relationship just started his new job and is perfectly fine. I just want Karma to kick his a**!
Yes. I knew his other WOMEN. They were my close friends. Not knowing about the affairs, i would still call them, go out with them, share secrets with them, etc. Even our children and spouses were friends. What did I do? The first one, I ignored and did not confront her. I confronted him and he denied any affair. She eventually found out i knew (from him who else?) and wrote me a letter of apology denying any wrongdoing and saying they were just close friends. Did I believe her? Nope. After all the hours they spent on the cel phone ( I saw the bills) why would I? Besides, an emotional relationship for me is worse than a physical relationship. Thanks goodness she and her family moved far away after that.
The second one i found out about a year after they "supposedly" ended it ( only because the husband scandalously found out). Seems the whole town knew except me. My friends were afraid to tell me. Drove me berserk. in my hysteria, i had her threatened by common friends, sent her very nasty messages and even yelled at her when i ran into her once. She had the nerve to yell back. I heard she was so in love with my husband and was determined to do everything to get him. Looking back, yes i should've seen the signs like when she would dress provocatively when with us. After much counseling and drama, we decided to stick it out. She's now still with her husband and I am still with mine. Unfortunately, we still have to bump into each other sine its a very small town. He's been trying his best to give me attention and religiously attends counseling but am still not comfortable with him. Am so turned off that he's been with someone else. Cant seem to trust him anymore or am so afraid to get hurt again. By the way, he has NEVER admitted to any infidelity up to now. Does that mean he is not remorseful or just afraid I will leave him when he openly admits it? My psychs advice is to think of the worst scenario that its true (infidelity)and decide if I can live with that. Why does he keep picking on my friends? Sometimes i think he is a sex addict and flirts with my friends so he can have sex for free (cheapskate). Why do I bother to stay at all? Mostly for the kids plus I cannot support myself. It is so painful to be deceived by my husband and "close friends".
Yes. I knew his other WOMEN. They were my close friends. Not knowing about the affairs, i would still call them, go out with them, share secrets with them, etc. Even our children and spouses were friends. What did I do? The first one, I ignored and did not confront her. I confronted him and he denied any affair. She eventually found out i knew (from him who else?) and wrote me a letter of apology denying any wrongdoing and saying they were just close friends. Did I believe her? Nope. After all the hours they spent on the cel phone ( I saw the bills) why would I? Besides, an emotional relationship for me is worse than a physical relationship. Thanks goodness she and her family moved far away after that. The second one i found out about a year after they "supposedly" ended it ( only because the husband scandalously found out). Seems the whole town knew except me. My friends were afraid to tell me. Drove me berserk. in my hysteria, i had her threatened by common friends, sent her very nasty messages and even yelled at her when i ran into her once. She had the nerve to yell back. I heard she was so in love with my husband and was determined to do everything to get him. Looking back, yes i should've seen the signs like when she would dress provocatively when with us.
(cont).... After much counseling and drama, we decided to stick it out. She's now still with her husband and I am still with mine. Unfortunately, we still have to bump into each other since its a very small town. He's been trying his best to give me attention and religiously attends counseling but am still not comfortable with him. Am so turned off that he's been with someone else. Cant seem to trust him anymore or am so afraid to get hurt again. By the way, he has NEVER admitted to any infidelity up to now. Does that mean he is not remorseful or just afraid I will leave him when he openly admits it? My psychs advice is to think of the worst scenario that its true (infidelity)and decide if I can live with that. Am still here hoping after a year and so far so good. But still bothered by : Why does he keep picking on my friends? Sometimes i think he is a sex addict and flirts with my friends so he can have sex for free (cheapskate). Why do I bother to stay at all? Mostly for the kids plus I cannot support myself. It is so painful to be deceived by my husband and "close friends".
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