Why Do Some People Cheat?
This has been one of the hardest journeys that I have ever been on, and if you have ever been through infidelity, you know as well. What makes us choose that one special person to be with? How can we guarantee that we will choose a mate that will be faithful? Actually, there IS NO guarantee in life. What makes one man/woman want to be with others so much and others just not that kind of person? I never even thought about other men when I was married to my ex. I didn't care about whether other men were cute, handsome or good-looking. The only thing I wanted in life was to take care of the man that I had, and my children, to be a good wife and mother. Are we all just wired up so differently? What makes a partner want to cheat? Does that mean that the next man that I fall in love with will do the same thing to me? No, it doesn't. But then again, there's no way of knowing the future, as there are no guarantees in this life. All we can do is pray for the best.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
I know what you mean. I haven't figured it out and I'm in the thick of it. In my first marriage, I was extremely faithful and, while I had a few real opportunities to cheat, I chose not to.
Now here I am, the other woman. I know how I got into this mess--boy, was I naive! But I'm not sure how I'm getting out of it.
Your blog is inspiring and I'm sure is helping others cope.
I was cheated on, it was the most painful thing that has ever happened to me. I thought it would never happen to me....One of many things I have learned is that we are all fallen creatures. The only one who we can totally rely on to keep His promises is God. We are still working through it, it's so hard, so painful. Her heart is split between the other man and me. I have hope but only through Jesus.
I was/am the cheater. (not sure using "was" clears me of the offense) I suppose low self esteem could get the blame, or porn, or communication problems. I really think trust was the main issue. She (wife) trusted me completely and I didn't trust her at all. I don't mean with other men, I mean with the real-life issues going on in my head and heart. If she knew how "weak" I was, she'd leave, right? So I started playing around in chat rooms and found someone I could tell my darkest stuff to. She didn't judge, she had dark stuff too. We fell in love, eventually met and consumated our relationship. But guess what? My trust issues started popping up with her, so I broke it off before I got dumped. We remained "friends" but her husband eventually discovered our secret and I was forced to divulge to my wife. Wife and I are still together but it's tenuous. Here's the thing - I'm stuck trying to gain back with my wife what once was but still can't get the other woman out of my head. Perhaps I never will. Not sure who to trust anymore.
Dear anonymous, why not put the trust in yourself? That might be where to start with this. Everything takes time and it's not always easy getting things back to normal so take things one step at a time. As far as working on things with your wife, if you really love her and want it to work, then you must be honest with her as well as with yourself, take things slowly and I wish you all the best.
Debbie, you're right, I have very little trust/faith in myself. Again, back to self esteem. The real drag here is it's so easy to blame a "condition" - self esteem, lack of a father, poor homelife. I'm responsible for my life and I've been rather irresponsible with it. Sometimes I feel I should be by myself, work things out with myself before giving to someone else.
Ironic that to the right of these posts is an ad for a "personals" site for people looking to cheat.
sorry for the ad, I did not put an ad on like that, it was google that randomly selects the ads depending on the content, I will check into that and get it fixed...please forgive me
Post a Comment