I made it through Thanksgiving, and I made it through Christmas..... I am starting to feel like a new woman with a new life. This is such a great feeling to have. Buying presents this year has no doubt been hard on alot of people but learning how to be single on a single budget is challenging as well. I think that I have used more coupons than ever this year, but life is much better for me and my daughter. We didn't have to pretend that things were going smoothly, because they really were. We didn't have to cook two different dinners because we both ate the same thing..... and we didn't have to feel like we were left out because he wasn't here..... and I have to say, that was a good feeling.
Having the support of my friends and family is one of the many blessings through this whole ordeal. Being cheated on was never my wish, and I honestly believed that I gave him all of my love and everything that I had, but when only one person works on a marriage, it never works. Both partners must work together to make it work. Stand up for yourself, because you deserve a life without being cheated on.
Infidelity and The Holidays
With the holidays here and so much going on, I have found myself so busy with things that I haven't stopped to think about him.....and that's a good thing. My heart still beats hard, thinking about what might have been and the family times we could have been having right now, but I cannot go back. Whenever he does call, which is few and far between these days, he still tells me that he loves me and misses me. I used to let that bother me, almost to the point that I start blaming myself for us not being together, but it was really HIS decision that he wanted the OW and couldn't let her go. I have accepted that now and my life is marching forward.
Cold weather and seeing all the beautiful colored lights everywhere and tons of people shopping all over just seems to make me more excited for a new future.
If you are dealing with infidelity, I hope that you stop long enough to take some time for yourself. Holidays are a very hard time to have to deal with heartache. Take time to do something nice for yourself or if you have children, hold them dear and spend that precious time with them.....holidays can be great, you just have to take the time to enjoy !
I learned a hard lesson years ago about infidelity....... you cannot control what your husband/wife or partner does, you can only control what YOU do about it.
Cold weather and seeing all the beautiful colored lights everywhere and tons of people shopping all over just seems to make me more excited for a new future.
If you are dealing with infidelity, I hope that you stop long enough to take some time for yourself. Holidays are a very hard time to have to deal with heartache. Take time to do something nice for yourself or if you have children, hold them dear and spend that precious time with them.....holidays can be great, you just have to take the time to enjoy !
I learned a hard lesson years ago about infidelity....... you cannot control what your husband/wife or partner does, you can only control what YOU do about it.
Thanksgiving Is Coming And I Will Give Thanks!
Thanksgiving is almost here, so that means another Thanksgiving Dinner without him, but it's okay. I realize that I have brooded over that man for far much longer than I should have. I look back on many Thanksgiving dinners that we had with my family, and even though he was there he really wasn't "there". He went through the motions, ate his food and went into hiding, playing his little tv games on his playstation or deciding that "someone" needed to have an estimate on a job and off he went. I was so blind, and I didn't even realize it back then. I was married, but so alone. Smiling through the holidays and thinking that everything was fine, but I can see it now, it really wasn't.
Gone are those days of feeling alone, going through the motions of being thankful for having him, when all he probably wanted was to be with "her". I wished I would have seen it back then, and I might have been able to let him go much earlier. Love is so blind, that is true. What brings us to the point that we just hold onto something that just isn't there anymore.
I am so much happier now that I am not living with someone who is just playing the game, trying to take advantage of all he can get. I have my new life now, so the turkey and dressing and all the fixings will be enjoyed by all who honestly really care about giving thanks, and not worried about what could have been.....because now it's better.
Gone are those days of feeling alone, going through the motions of being thankful for having him, when all he probably wanted was to be with "her". I wished I would have seen it back then, and I might have been able to let him go much earlier. Love is so blind, that is true. What brings us to the point that we just hold onto something that just isn't there anymore.
I am so much happier now that I am not living with someone who is just playing the game, trying to take advantage of all he can get. I have my new life now, so the turkey and dressing and all the fixings will be enjoyed by all who honestly really care about giving thanks, and not worried about what could have been.....because now it's better.
Sometimes It Takes A Little While To Get Over It All
What a lovely day it is today, not too warm out and the sun is shining brightly......inside I am wanting the joy to come through but for some reason, I feel blue inside. I have been doing sooooo well since he and I parted and went our separate ways but today brings a small piece of rememberance back inside of me...I don't like it nor do I want to dwell on it so I thought that I would write about it so that maybe I can get over it and back on track with my new life. I just want to say here how much that I really wanted our marriage to work out. I wanted our family to be together and I long hoped for that miracle. I remember times when things were good and I thought for just a shining, glimmering moment in life that we were going to be able to work things out. I never wanted to actually give him up to another woman, but I had no choice in the matter because he is the one who made that decision. It was hard for me to learn that I could not make that choice for him. Of all the times that I heard him say " I love you" to me, it wasn't enough to let her go. I have to be stronger than this and let my pain go and learn new ways to make my new life get back on track again. Enough said, I thank you for letting me spill my feelings and I know that things will be alright again for me, I just have to be strong.
Why Does He Keep Calling Me?
He called me again today and I missed his call.... WHAT does he want from me NOW???? Well, I found out, it was the same ole, same ole....he no longer wants our house, the one that he fought me tooth and nail for, and he wants ME to do something about it. This is the second time that he has called me about it, and last month I just let it go because there is nothing I can do about it, but obviously he thinks there is so I listened to him tell me over again about not wanting the house and I told him that I just didn't know. He said that since he is living with his other woman, he doesn't want to be bothered about going back and forth from one house to the other.....this is NOT my problem any longer. Normally, I let things like this bother me, but I am so tired of it all, that I just don't have feelings anymore. I only want to get on with my new life. That was his choice, not mine. Maybe he will learn how to forget my number one of these days, think it's possible?
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